As I mentioned in my last post, I made a New Year’s Resolution to really lose weight this year. I know that it is something that I really need to do so I have been spending some time trying to find new and creative ways to lose weight. There are all kinds of pills and creams and gels and potions and mixtures all over the internet that are suppose to make you lose 20 lbs overnight or 50 lbs in 7 days by eating sand and daisy petals but that is just insane! The only way to lose that kind of weight is to amputate a limb or 2 and don’t think I haven’t thought about it because I have! But after a few minutes I realize that I would have to live an arm or leg and that would bother me.
I have tried so many diets and they never work for me. I have read articles about what makes a diet successful and no one seems to really have a solution to the Diet Dilemma. I have been thinking about what would make a diet work for me and it seems that I need to find foods that I really enjoy eating but that are not bad for me. So, let’s see…….. that would eliminate the Pizza Diet, the Burger Diet, the Taco Bell Diet, the Lasagna diet, the Pasta, Pasta, Pasta Diet so what is a Fat Chick to do?? I guess I need to CREATE MY OWN DIET! When I have tried this in the past, friends and family have told me NO but I don’t see them with a degree in dietology so I have been working on creating my own diet and we’ll see how I do.
Ok, my first attempt at solving the Diet Dilemma is The Diet Coke Diet. All Diet Coke, All The Time!! There are so many varieties of Diet Coke now – There is Regular Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Lime, Diet Coke with Cherry, Diet Coke Plus, and Caffeine Free Diet Coke! Now if that isn’t enough variety for you than you can try The Diet Pepsi Diet – Diet Pepsi, Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi with Vanilla, Diet Pepsi with Lime, Pepsi Max, Diet Pepsi with Wild Cherry, Black Cherry French Vanilla Diet Pepsi Jazz, Caramel Cream Diet Pepsi Jazz. When I came up with these diets, friends told me I was crazy and would have to put some “real food” in there somewhere so I decided to change it a little to the Diet Cola and Broccoli Diet – alternate between Diet Soda and broccoli all day long! Then someone came along and said I needed to add some protein in there somewhere so I decided that I would go with the Diet Cola, Broccoli and broiled chicken diet – OK, you drink diet cola all day and then for dinner you alternate between chicken and broccoli but on the 3rd day, you have chicken AND broccoli together!! How is that for variety!? Now if you really want to be CRAZY you can go with the DIET SODA diet. How is this different from my other 2 you ask? Well, the others only had Diet Cola’s but this one incorporates all diet soda’s – Diet 7-Up, Diet Sprite, Sierra Mist Zero, Diet Root Beer, Diet Orange Soda, etc. And you can add the Broccoli and/or Chicken to it also! As I worked on these, I realized that ther was something very important to me missing from my diet attempts – COFFEE!! I love coffee and don’t think that I could give it up so I had to add that into the mix so I came up with the Coffee and Diet Soda Diet – Coffee for breakfast, Soda for lunch and BOTH FOR DINNER! I can mix and match all of these!! Add a salad in here and there! Sounds like a plan!! Maybe I will try it and see how I do!
I will keep you updated on my status………

I did something last week that I normally don’t do – I actually left work in the middle of my day to run an errand. I never leave work because once I leave, I don’t want to go back. Why put myself through that? I had to run to the bank so I decided to just do it - CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED! My little errand also gave me the chance to go to Starbucks for some “liquid love” – an iced vanilla caramel latte. I decided to go inside because I wanted to get some coffee beans for the Moms. As I walked into the store, I got my normal greeting from the barista “Welcome to Starbucks – Can we help you find anything?” I looked around to see if I saw a familiar face, my barista crush Nick, but I didn’t see him so I figured he wasn’t working and went about my search for Mom’s decaf. As usual, I was completely distracted by the coffee cups and tumblers and as I sat at a table looking at a few cups, I heard someone from behind me and ask how I was doing. As I turned I saw Nick walking towards me, I laughed (as my little heart fluttered) and asked how he was doing. He sat at the table with me and we talked for a few minutes. Nothing big, just small talk and chit chat. (No, we aren’t planning a wedding or naming kids). As we talked, a Tiny Tammy came into the store, walked to the counter and asked if Nick was there. I pointed in her direction and said “Looks like you have a fan, better not keep her waiting.” He laughed and told me that he was on a break and someone else could help her. We continued talking and Tiny Tammy came over to the table, stood between Nick and I and began talking to him. Tiny Tammy acted as if I didn’t exist, like it was not possible for Nick, the cute Barista, to actually want to have a conversation with a fat chick! Oh no, can’t have an attractive guy talking to someone who was not 5”6’, 110 lbs, blonde hair and blue eyed – that would be just uncivilized! I went back to looking at the coffee cups that I had at the table with me when Nick looked past Tiny Tammy and asked if I could excuse him for a minute. I smiled and said “sure, no problem” and minded my own business again. I guess all the world would be made right again, the cute Barista walks into the sunset with the boney bimbo. About a minute later, I heard Nick tell Tammy that one of the girls behind the counter would be happy to help her, he was on a break and chatting with a friend. I heard this and figured that one of the people who just walked in was a friend of his but, to my surprise; Nick came back to the table and sat with me again. Could I be that friend that he spoke of?? Me? Be still my beating heart… He apologized for the interruption, explaining that the Bimbo comes in a few times a week and throws herself at him (his words, not mine) but he had no interest in her kind. Hmmmmm, no interest in a young, attractive woman? What was his interest? Old, hideous sea hags? Or maybe hairy, smelly trolls? But a FAT CHICK?? It couldn’t be!! We chatted for another 15-20 minutes and then I had to get back to the office – Darn this adulthood and all of its responsibilities!! He took the coffee beans for the Moms and ground them for me. When he rang up my total, it seemed low – AGAIN! What a nice guy, he only charged me for a ½ pound but I got a full pound. When I went by Mom’s a day or 2 later to give her the coffee, it was hard to part with it but I did! I didn’t like it but I did it.

I decided this morning that I was going to stop for coffee on my way into work. There are so many reasons to stop – The yummy goodness of coffee, the little pick-me-up that I get, the REALLY CUTE Barista……. But I digress.
My intention was to get a Caramel Light Frappuccino because they taste really good and they are pretty low in calorie. As I turned into the parking lot of my work Starbucks (I have a work Starbucks which is around the corner from my office and a home Starbucks which is about a mile from my apartment – and they know me by name and drink at both…… again, I digress), I noticed that there was a car at the little order taking box thingy so I pulled in behind them, opened my sunroof a bit and put the radio a little louder. As I sat listening to the new Madonna/Justin Timberlake song and watching the sky, my mind drifted off to Coffee Heaven and how wonderful an Iced Venti Vanilla Caramel Latte would taste……. The subtle sweetness of the vanilla and caramel together and the wonderful taste of the latte, all blended together to make a little piece of heaven just for me! As I watched the car in front of me pull ahead to the pick-up window and remembered the horrible taste of that disgraceful skinny latte I went into a mini- coffee panic! I want to be “a good girl in the diet world” but that is just cruel and unusual punishment for a true coffee lover such as myself. As the speaker began to crackle “Welcome to Starbucks….” my mind went blank. What do I do? Do I order crap coffee or do I get what I want and take the hit in calories? AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Too much pressure for me to deal with and not have caffeine…… that’s what this dilemma was all about, my caffeine!! Before Stephanie had finished her welcome, I screamed into the menu box/microphone in a panicked voice “ICED VENTI VANILLA CARAMEL LATTE WITH CARAMEL SAUCE DRIZZLE AND WHIP CREAM……. EXTRA DRIZZLE!” I felt a sense of relief once the order was placed but then I realized what I had done, I had ordered not only the real deal but added extra caramel and whip cream! My eyes bulged open and I covered my mouth like a 5 year old who had just been caught by Mom saying things she isn’t suppose to say. I had gone from one extreme to the other!! I mumbled “Shit! I can’t believe I did that!” and grabbed my steering wheel and considered speeding out of the line and out of the parking lot in shame but then I realized that if I did that, I wouldn’t get my coffee!! The menu box giggled at me and said “Excuse me?” to which I responded “I’m sorry, I am having issues right now. Can I get a Chop Chop Salad with that also?” She gave me my total and I slowly drove to the window to get my order. I had to wait for a minute or 2 until the car in front of me pull away so I had a few moments to contemplate my next step….. do I get to the window and change my order or do I just deal with the consequences of my actions, enjoying my coffee in the process? This was quite a dilemma but as soon as I saw the car in front of me pull away from the window, I knew what I had to do and I was prepared!! I pulled up to the window and saw my REALLY CUTE barista smiling at me and asking if I was OK. Ya’ see, he was training Stephanie and overheard the entire incident!! Ok, so now, not only was I “a bad girl in the diet world” but I was utterly humiliated and wanted to crawl under a rock and weep! I smiled and apologized for my erratic and explained that I was struggling with my drink choice as yelled out my order before I had really decided. He laughed at me and said “This is why I like you! Everytime you come thru the window, we have some fun!” I laughed and handed him my money and he handed me a bag with my salad and then my drink. I put my sunglasses back on while I waited for my change. Cutie Pie handed me a $5 bill and some change but this was wrong. I handed him a $10 bill so I should have only gotten back some change. I told him that he had made a mistake but he said “No, I haven’t made a mistake, look at your receipt once you get to your office but not before. Now get to work young lady!” I smiled and drove off. Once I got to my office and sat down at my desk, pulled the receipt out of my purse and looked at it. At the bottom of the receipt, Cutie Pie had written me a little note: “Anyone who has that much of a problem choosing what kind of coffee to get, shouldn’t have to pay for it. This one is on me.” WOW! That Vanilla Caramel Latte is normally really good but it tastes so much better when it is free!! After all that, I decided to take the hit in calories for my coffee and really enjoy it…… and I did!! I called Starbucks later in the morning to thank Cutie Pie for his generosity and to ask what kind of milk was used (whole or 2%) in my drink. Fortunately, it was 2% so my drink wasn’t quite as bad as I expected.
I made a decision that I would not make myself suffer when it comes to coffee, maybe I will just get a smaller size or stick with the 2% rather than whole milk. Don’t think I could handle going thru that again!

OK, I overslept this morning and ended up running out of the house like a lunatic to get to work on time. Because of this, I didn't get to make my morning coffee at home so I decided to stop at Starbucks (I LOVE STARBUCKS) and get my morning caffeine fix. This Fat Chick without my caffeine fix is not good for ANYONE, trust me. Well, they have been advertising these SKINNY latte's so I decided to try to be 'a good girl in the diet world' and get one. I was happy to see that they had my favorites vanilla and caramel so I got a Venti Iced Vanilla Caramel Skinny Latte. I was all excited about it thinking this could make my diet sooooo much easier for me since I am a total Starbucks junky. I took a sip right there at the drive up window and thought "OK, not too bad but not as good as a regular one." In the 2.6 minutes that it took me to drive from Starbucks to my office, my latte turned into brown water!! That wonderful creamy vanilla caramel yumminess turned into yuk the minute a single ice cube melted. I mean it became TERRIBLE, like water - bad tasting water!! Give me the real deal any day. I'll take the hit in calories for taste. I need the good stuff! Thank God my Starbucks fairy went to Starbucks a little later in the day so I was able to get the real thing and make it thru the rest of the day without physically hurting someone, most likely myself! This got me thinking about "diet" alternatives and I realized that there are some that are great! There are some that you can't taste the difference but then there are others (like this skinny latte) that taste horrible and make you want to give up the idea of dieting all together. Now, Starbucks is a HUGE company and I am sure that if someone in Starbucks heaven sat down and really thought about this they couls find a way to make these skinny latte's taste good! The Light Frappucinos are great so why can't they make a latte that good? Maybe I should start a petition? Or do a MARCH ON STARBUCKS! Yes! I will gather a large group of my fellow FAT CHICKS and we will march into the corporate offices in Seattle and DEMAND better diet lattes. Can you imagine the faces on the receptionist? The fear of being attacked by a large group of fat people who want a better alternative for diet friendly caffeine. I know I am scary when I don't have my caffeine so imagine 20 or 30 ME'S coming at ya! It is not a pretty thought. In fact, the thought is kinda freaking me out so I need to stop! Actually, it is almost 3am and I need to go to sleep so that I can wake up with enough time to make coffee at home.