I am just too old for this crap! I didn’t like “friend drama” when I was a freakin’ teenager so why in God’s name would I like it as an adult? I DON’T LIKE IT ONE DAMN BIT so I think I will give up on the whole “friend” crap, become a hermit, move to the mountains of Tibet, wear nothing but tree bark and leaves and go by the name Sister Starshine!
I bet you are sitting in front of your computer there thinking “Why would our lovable little Fat Chick feel like this now?” Well, I’m gonna tell you right now……. Prepare yourself for a non-weight/food/fat/diet related rant.
I have never been one of these people that feels it necessary to have 3.5 million friends. Quite the opposite really. I normally have 2 or 3 real friends so it is a pretty exclusive club - we have a special handshake and t-shirts and weekly meetings where we discuss world news and politics and our own written language that only we can understand…… OK, I am exaggerating a bit but I don’t feel a need to have oddles and oodles of friends, just a few. Now because this is such an exclusive club, it takes a lot for me to really trust someone enough to give them the keys to my inner sanctum so when someone that I have trusted disappoints or hurts me, it is like a dagger in my heart because I feel like I have not entered into that friendship easily.
We all have problems and we should be able to turn to friends when we need support but should friends assume and expect you to bend over backwoods to accommodate their needs while giving no consideration to your needs? HELL NO! Am I perfect? No, I’m not but I would NEVER assume that someone is going to do something for me BEFORE I ask them and then get mad at them for not doing it when they say they can’t. What makes it worse is that I have had my own issues that I have had to deal with for the past few months and this friends has shown very little concern for me – an occasional text message, attitude when I couldn’t or didn’t want to go to dinner when THEY wanted to but never wanting to do anything with me when I wanted to or could and no attempt at compromise. I was already feeling like there were some issues prior to the most recent issue but this one just pushed me over the edge! How dare she assume that I will put my life on hold to accommodate her needs! Like I am sitting at home, in my room anxiously awaiting her call so that I can giggle with glee because she needs me. Not this fat chick! Lately I feel like it is taking enough for me to keep myself together and she is expecting me to drop everything because she wants me to. Not a chance in hell, not for anyone, best friend or not! When I sit down and really think about this, I can’t help but feel like a true friend wouldn’t EXPECT me to drop everything for them. Friends are suppose to care for each other, ITS SUPPOSE TO BE MUTUAL! When the friendship looses the mutual respect, there is a problem that may not be able to be fixed because if it happens once, it may happen again. I don’t know that I am willing to take that risk. So, with a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye, I am off to get my ticket to Tibet, change the locks to my inner sanctum and think up a new secret handshake.......
Sunday, August 31, 2008