It’s a conspiracy, damn it!!

I am convinced that they are all out to get me! Yes, the entire freakin’ world is out to get me and I don’t know why! I mean, I am a nice girl. I try to be helpful to others and reasonably nice. OK, I don’t play well with stupid but at least I try! But with the way things are going, I am beginning to think there is a weekly newsletter (sent out by mail and email), monthly meetings (held by conference call and Virtual- if everyone got together at once, I might get curious so they are getting creative), a board of directors and a home office somewhere is Utah. It would have to be in Utah, I have never had good luck with the Mormons. But, why me? This is the part that I am not sure of but I will figure it out!
So, I bet you are wondering why I think they are out to get me? Let me explain…….. Being a Fat Chick, I am use to people staring at me and sometimes even making rude comments but lately it seems like there are even more people staring and lots of whispering going on. Yesterday in Wal-Mart, there were these 2 women looking at shoes when I went down a shoe aisle. It didn’t look like they knew each other but right after I walked passed them, they seemed to start whispering. This seemed to be a constant theme thru my trip to Wal-Mart and Target yesterday. It was like everywhere I turned, little groups of people would gather to chat and I was the only common denominator in the equation so they had to be talking about me, right??? Were they preparing reports to submit to the home office when they got home? Maybe they were sending text messages to each other or maybe they are sending them to the home office in Utah, that would be much more convenient and efficient!! And if you are going to plan and operate a conspiracy, it is better to be efficient. I would expect them to treat this conspiracy like a business and do it in the most effective manner possible because that is what I would do! I can’t help but wonder how all of these people got involved? Was there a mass email sent out? Maybe someone started a blog about me and it all got started there… How long has this been going on? A few weeks or months? Could it be years? Who could dislike me so much for so long to put all of this energy and effort into it? Maybe it all started with those girls in school and church who were jealous because I was asked to sing in assemblies and church ….. maybe it was those girls in grade school who I wouldn’t let copy off of me on tests….. I KNOW!! It’s that little girl from kindergarten who wanted my nap spot by the window! That little bitch! She has probably been watching me all these years and has turned everyone against me! If I can ever remember her name, I’m gonna get her and get her good!! Petty little monster child!! I have to go and find my kindergarten year book so I can find her!