I don’t know about you but I am always hoping and praying that some magic drug will miraculously come into existence that will help me loose weight or make the idea of eating so disgusting to me that I will stop eating all together. I know, not the smartest way to deal with wanting to loose weight but I am only human!!
Anyhoo, I have a close friend who, last year, was having some issues. She did the smart thing and went to the Doctor for some help and was prescribed Adderal. It did wonders for her in so many ways – one of which was it caused her to loose most of her appetite and loose some weight. I think she has lost about 35-40 lbs – the supportive friend says “Good for you!!” while my inner fat chick says “You suck!”
As she has told me about her newfound weight loss, all I can think about is what symptoms do I have to fake to get that pill? Do I have to twitch uncontrollably? Yell obscenities at strangers? Throw temper-tantrums for no reason? Cry on queue? Whatever it is, I am sure I can do it. I was in the drama club in school and did all kinds of church plays growing up so this should be a breeze. OK, lets see – Adderall is normally prescribed for ADHD or Narcolepsy. So, I just need to fake the symptoms of one of these 2 conditions. Heck, if I want to be sure to get it, maybe I should fake symptoms for both!
When I go in to talk to the Dr, I can get distracted easily. Then, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Then, once I have faked sleeping for a few minutes, I can wake up with a jolt and yell “Look at the pretty lights!” then get up and start cleaning the Dr’s desk, dancing the cha cha while going off on tangents when I answer his questions. After a few minutes of that I can collapse and fall asleep again. I think the Dr will buy it, don’t you? I wonder how long I will have to keep it up? It seems like it could get exhausting to keep it going for too long. I mean with all of the dancing, cleaning, collapsing and random spurts of craziness. On top of the weight I would loose from taking the pills, I would be getting quite a workout. This plan has benefits all around!