I am hiding on my scale

I haven’t been to my apartment in 2.5 days and I am scared to go home tonight. Ya’ see, I have been avoiding my scale like the plague and don’t want to have to see it tonight when I get home because I am sure that it will yell at me and tackle me in the living room as soon as I walk in the door. I am convinced that she has spent the last few days alone in the apartment plotting ways to force me to weigh myself so she can yell at me for gaining 1.2 lbs. I have to figure out a way to get inside without the scale seeing or hearing me and get it into a closet so that it can’t get to me but she is smart and sneaky. She is probably sitting right by the front door, waiting patiently for my to put my key in the lock so she can throw herself in my path and weigh me before I know it but I can’t let that happen, I will have bags with me that weigh at least 10 lbs but she won’t care! She will yell at me in her drill sergeant voice how much I weigh and won’t even consider that I will be carrying my laundry, laptop and my purse – Oh God! I have a few bags from Wal-Mart that I need to bring in too, who knows what they weigh!! I have to be prepared for an obstacle course to stay away from her – a lot of bobbing and weaving, dropping and rolling and maybe even some wall climbing. I gotta be like Spiderman! Who am I kidding? I am nothing like Spiderman, couldn’t do it even if I wanted to - I’ve never been bit by a radioactive spider!! Maybe I can try to be like Batman but I am no millionaire, that’s for sure. I guess I will just have to find a way to stay away from her so she can’t get me.
Well, I am getting ready to go home so WISH ME LUCK!


Thiz Bad Princezz... said...

Well... think of it this way. If she forces you to weigh yourself as soon as you walk through the door (holding your laundry, laptop, wal-mart bags) she'll be EXTREMELY suprised when you weigh yourself tomorrow and seemingly lost 50 pounds over night!


Thiz Bad Princezz... said...
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