And the diet roller coaster continues.....

I have been trying to diet...... and I stress the word TRYING! Ya' see, I am not a very successful dieter. In fact, I am probably the absolute worst dieter in the history of dieting. Maybe I should call myself THE ANTI-DIETER and get a hot pink unitard with a bright yellow belt, a purple mask and a turquoise cape with a big donut on the back! I try, I mean I really try but I feel like no matter what I do I fail miserably. Am I afraid of something? Do I unintentionally sabotage myself? I don't understand it but I wish I did. I wish I knew what was wrong with me to make me always do the wrong thing. People talk about how you have to hit rock bottom before you can really do it or you how you have to be ready to do it so WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? How much more crap so I have to deal with before my mind finally gives in? This is the one area of my life where I feel like a total failure. I have a job that I really like, great friends, fantastic family and I just got a new car (well, new to me - 2005) but when it comes to loosing weight, I am a complete and utter failure. I want to loose weight for all of the typical reasons - shopping, dating, walking - but I seem to keep doing all of the wrong things and eating all of the wrong foods. How do I stop? What do I do to make this change in my life? Not sure yet but I am working on it. I have not given up and I won't give up but I need to find my motivation to make it happen.

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