Confessions of a Fat Chick

Have I mentioned lately......

2009-12-06T11:53:00.002-05:00

that this whole "not able to walk" thing sucks the big one?? Well, IT DOES!!!! I am tired of having to rely on others for the little things, like a drink or snack! It's done wonders for my diet but it still sucks.

It's Been a while....

2009-12-03T18:17:00.002-05:00

It has been quite a while since my last post but I have a really good excuse…
Back in April I got pretty sick and went to the emergency room. I was much sicker than I thought and was admitted into the hospital because I was septic and was near kidney failure. This is when the drugs began….. I was in ICU for about a month and then in CCU for another month before being sent to a skilled nursing facility for 5 months. Why skilled nursing? For some reason when I was in ICU I became unable to walk. My left leg was bent and could not be straightened as well as my left arm being very weak and my left pinky being bent and unable to be straightened. Amazing what happens when you when you go into the hospital, huh? I left the hospital and went into a rehab facility and spent a whopping 5 months there but still can’t walk. I am back home now and having a physical therapist and nurse visit 2-3 times a week. Believe it or not, I have done better in the 3.5 weeks that I have been home than I did in the 5 months in rehab.
In the 7 + months that I was in rehab and the hospital, I lost A LOT of weight. This was not the way that I wanted to lose weight but it was a start. I still have a quite a bit of weight to lose and I am still working on it but I have not given up yet.
I have so much that has happened over the past 7 months that I want to write about but I can’t do it all now so there will be more where this came from in the near future……. Check back in often.
Much Love,
TFC

The Fat Chick goes to The Movies

2009-03-19T01:50:00.000-04:00

I am A HUGE movie fan (pardon the pun) and I recently went to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Wasn’t my choice but I wasn’t paying so I let the payer decide. It wasn’t the best movie, all of the funny stuff was in the previews but that is not the purpose of my writing today.

As I watched the movie, I noticed something that kinda aggravated me more than the movie itself was aggravating me. I know you are dying to know so I won‘t not make you wait any longer. In almost every movie, there is a “Love Interest” but there is a real double standard between men and women when it comes to this arena . In just about every movie, the female love interest is tall, thin and pretty . There is no real “formula” for the male love interest. In movies, the man can be old, young, fat, skinny, smart, dumb, etc but the woman is always basically the same – pretty and skinny. Why is that? Why is it OK for a “chubby” guy to fall in love with a “pretty, skinny” girl but you NEVER see a chubby girl with a Hottie guy? And when you do see it, it started out as a joke or prank! Like the “Full-Figured” women don’t have it hard enough, we get the pure pleasure of being the brunt of jokes for the masses. And we wonder why we live in a society that tells us it’s OK to pick on the overweight? Because we are told that it’s OK by the movies that we see. I am not saying that there has never been a movie like this but they are few and far between. They are the exception to the rule and we don’t have enough exceptions!!

When will we be accepted AS IS and not expected to change to be what our society expects us to be?

The Fat Chick is TWITTERING.....

2009-03-17T00:41:00.003-04:00

I finally broke down and joined Twitter. So far,so good I think. I seem to be getting the hang of it..... If anyone out there in the blogosphere is on Twitter and wants to be my Twitter Pal, come on and follow me!! It will be like a party! I bet you can't guess what my name is.........

Old Navy "Super Modelquins"

2009-03-13T18:10:00.001-04:00

What the heck is going on at Old Navy? Have you seen these ridiculous new commercials?
I have always been a fan of Old Navy. They have great purses and winter wear and hoodies and sweaters but these commercials are a bit ridiculous. What the heck are they trying to say to the American Public? You have to be shaped like a mannequin to wear our clothes? Their commercials use to be fun and a little kooky but these are almost insulting to a majority of the American public who are considered OVERWEIGHT or LARGE. A bunch of mannequins talking about their butt’s…… a male mannequin asking a female mannequin to marry him? Since when do we need a storyline for the mannequins? It’s bad enough that the mannequins in the stores are NOTHING LIKE real people but now they have to have a storyline so we can get to know them better. I don’t feel a need to get to know these unrealistic plastic dolls! Why can’t we have mannequins that look like REAL people? You Know, big hips, flat butt, thick thighs, flat chest, etc. It would make me more likely to shop in stores rather than avoid stores like the plague like I do now. Oh well, I guess I will be limiting my Old Navy shopping for a while.

The weekend BBQ

2009-03-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, we had a BBQ. The weather was absolutely gorgeous so it was perfect!
The whole BBQ was my Mom’s idea and she asked me to invite some friends so I did!
I invited a friend that I have not seen in quite some time. I was excited to see her but I was also petrified! Why petrified? I have not seen her in quite a few years and, unfortunately, I have gained a bit of weight and I was scared of how she would react to my new “appearance.” I was afraid that she would be disappointed in me for letting myself go. Sounds stupid, huh? No one knows that more than me but I just couldn’t help it. Since I have started to get in touch with old friends on Facebook, I have been having some issues like this. I have put off seeing some friends because I am scared. Strangers I could care less about but friends I’m petrified! What the heck is that all about? Not sure but it is what it is. But I digress……. The BBQ was good…. Great deviled eggs, good burgers, potato salad and I got to see my friend and meet her 2 daughters and her husband. Her daughters are just beautiful and her husband is great. We talked and caught up a little. And it was nice to have my “sister from another mother “ back.

My Yearly Ritual

2009-03-02T01:24:00.000-05:00

I have this little ritual that I go thru each year at my birthday. I don’t do anything crazy like climb the Himalaya’s or cruise the 7 seas, I do a little self evaluation. I take some time and think about where I was at my last birthday, where I am at this birthday and where I want to be at my next birthday. Not a bad thing to do, right?
Well, each year I say the same thing to myself: This year I am going to lose weight! And then the next year, I say the same thing about either the same amount of weight or sometimes more! Why? Why is losing weight such a struggle? OK, so I know that my love of pizza, pasta and all things cheesy has a lot to do with it …..and I am sure that my inability to eat ANYTHING in moderation plays a role too. What is a girl suppose to do? How do I make it happen? Do I need a magic pill? Maybe a special serum? Maybe I need to make a day trip to Hogwarts to get a wizard to put a spell on me. I have considered having surgery to lose weight but there are so many people who go and have the surgery who really have no business having it and I guess in a way I am stubborn about it. I don’t want to take the easy way out but I also don’t want to be a “Super Duper Fat Chick” for the rest of my life. I will ALWAYS be a Fat Chick at heart but I wouldn’t mind being Not-So-Fat….. I’ll never be skinny, never in a million years, but I wouldn’t mind being able to enjoy some of the little things in life that my extra weight makes hard for me to enjoy. So what is a Fat Chick to do? I’m not really sure but I need to figure something out before my next ritual begins.

Time to Celebrate!!

2009-02-23T16:01:00.000-05:00

The Fat Chick is getting older and it’s time to celebrate!! Just in case you have not figured it out, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!! I have made it thru another year and I am still standing! I have made some good decisions, some bad decisions and some terrible decisions but they are all mine and is spite of each and every one, I survived. The last year has held a great deal of laughter, smiles, frustration and tears for me and this is the time of year when I evaluate my life. Not the kind of evaluation where I look at everything that I did and beat myself up over it but the time when I look at my life and see where I was a year ago and how far I have come to be where I am now and THANK GOD FOR MY 37 YEARS!!
As women, we are so brainwashed to believe that once we hit 30 or 35 we are over the hill and need to lie about our age. Why? In my opinion, when we do this we are disrespectful to everything that we have gone through in our lives. When we do this we are belittling every trial, every tear, every laugh, every dream, every hope, every smile and every EVERYTHING that we have had to overcome to be the women we are now. Be proud of your age and don’t let anyone tell you that your age is something to be hidden. EMBRACE IT!!

The things people say......

2009-02-20T00:27:00.000-05:00

I was shopping the other day and had an unusual thing happen to me.
I was in Target looking at cosmetics because even us Fat Chicks want to look good!! I was alone, looking at mascara, when this older woman came down the aisle. I did what I always do, I looked up, smiled and went back to my shopping. Matilda (that is what I have decided to call her) was looking for a specific brand and color and asked if I saw it in the aisle. I try to be a nice person so I told her that I would help her. She looked smiled, thanked me and looked up at me and said something that I never thought I would ever hear someone say, especially someone who doesn’t know me……
Prepare yourself…. Sit down, take a deep breath and continue reading…..
She said “Such a pretty girl, imagine how much prettier you’d be if you lost some of that weight.”
I stood there in a state of total shock as I stared into Matilda’s little face. My gut instinct was to say something like “imagine how much nicer you’d be if it wasn’t for that mouth of yours” or “imagine how much prettier you’d be without all those wrinkles” but I didn’t do it…….. even though I really wanted to!
As I stood there, frozen from shock, all I could think about was what made this woman think it was OK to say something like that to me. Did she think that because I am FAT that I didn’t have feelings? That maybe all of my fat absorbed my feelings and emotions? I got it! Maybe there is a hormone or something released in my fat that makes me incapable of having any reaction to rude, crude comments. Or that maybe I would expect people to make comments like this to and/or about me? Like this is a normal occurrence for me. Like everyday when I walk thru the mall or grocery store I’ve got every Joe Schmoe telling me that I’m good but I’d be better if……. I didn’t wear red or if my hair wasn’t curly or if my eyes weren’t green! Am I crazy for wanting to ring her little neck? I don’t think so, not at all! Now, I know that as people grow older they sometimes feel that they have earned the right to say whatever they want to whoever they want but I don’t agree! There is never a reason to be a snotty old lady making rude comments to a total stranger. As I came out of my state of shock and drifted back into reality, all I could really do was stare at Matilda with my mouth hanging open. I asked here again what brand she was looking for and found it for her. As I handed it to her I smiled, resisted the urge to call her an old fart and walked away. As I turned out of the aisle and walked away I couldn’t help but smile at the thought that I had given Matilda Royal Blue Mascara rather than the Black that she asked for. There is always a silver lining…..

I am One Confused Fat Chick!

2009-02-03T19:31:00.002-05:00

As I have mentioned recently, I am a bit of a TV junkie. I enjoy watching some shows but sometimes the TV is just on for the noise and to keep me company.
It seems like lately there have been a lot of things in the news and on talk shows about “Overweight America” and “Obese Teens”. Then we have popular magazines telling us that you have to be 4 pounds 5 ounces to be considered “normal” or pretty. We have the news telling us that we are a country in turmoil because we have teens who are overweight. And then we have Oprah having temper tantrums because she has gained a few pounds. Oprah looks better like she is now, with some meat. For a while there she was looking sickly. (I could go off on a tangent here but I will save that for later.) What is wrong with having a little meat on your bones? Nothing!!
The more I think about it, the more I think I can see why we have so many teens and young adults with weight problems. It’s the stupid magazines and TV!! Every time they turn on the TV to watch GossipGirl or 90210 or flip the page in Glamour magazine, they are told that they are not normal because they are not 5ft 10in and weigh 52.6 lbs soaking wet! So what do they do? They go into the kitchen, get a snack and eat away the frustration. God knows that is what I feel like doing when I watch certain shows or look at certain magazines……. AND I DO IT!! Guess it is my way of saying “SCREW YOU MEDIA! I’ll show you!” as I shovel a large pizza in my mouth with a brownie chaser. Yep, that’ll show’em!
Because you know they are sitting in their high rise offices in New York and LA waiting to see what I’M going to do because it is their goal in life and business to make me a super thin model type.
So, we live in a nation with a weight problem but we are driving people to weight problems with what we are showing them in the media. Dear Lord, we should be called The United States of American Emotional Eaters! Maybe we can get a fat people bailout from the government. They can pay us to loose weight! Or maybe pay us to stay fat! That will keep the media in business!
Maybe I have ranted enough for now. Give me a few hours and I am sure I will have something else that will make me want to explode with adjectives and verbs and nouns!

Could I be a TV Junkie??

2009-02-02T12:14:00.000-05:00

OK…… I am coming to the conclusion that I am a TV junkie. And not just a normal, run of the mill TV junkie but a SUPER DUPER DORKY TV JUNKIE! Why is this you may ask? Well, it is because I seem to be a fan of reality shows. And not the cool reality shows but the corny, nerdy, weirdo ones that are almost embarrassing to admit that you watch! And it really makes me crazy because I watch these shows and get sooooooo aggravated with the people on them that it takes quite a bit to keep me from throwing things at my TV! But if I did that, what would I watch all of these terrible reality shows on??
My favorite reality show right now is ROCK OF LOVE BUS on VH1. Not only is it a matchmaking show but he is on tour at the same time and bringing the contestants with him in their own tour buses. OH MY GOD what is wrong with these women? Really? They are completely out of their minds! The way they dress….. the way they act. Some of them I like to “lovingly” call White Trash Barbie. Wonder what I mean by that? Take a look at an episode and you will understand COMPLETELY! Not a week goes by that I don’t wonder why I watch the show every week but by the end, I have remembered..... It’s because it is so darn funny and ridiculous all at the same time!
Another one that I am amazed that I watch is The Bachelor. I got suckered into The Bachelorette and the current Bachelor was on that show and made it to the final 2 but Deanna chose the other guy and now broke up with him. (I am so not a fan of hers right now!!) But I watch these women THROWING themselves at this guy and can’t help but wonder what the heck is wrong with them? He is a good looking guy, seems to be a very nice guy but these women are acting like a bunch of psycho-stalkers! I am amazed that The Bachelor has not gone running in fear from these women. And he has a child! I wonder if his son is freaked out by them? I don’t understand how he couldn’t be. They are like vultures! And they are acting like idiots on NATIONAL TV!
Now, something that I have noticed, especially on The Bachelor, is that none of these women have an ounce of meat on their bones! They are thinner than a sheet of paper. On Rock of Love Bus, there are a few women that have a little meat on them but not many. What is the fascination with these skinny, boney women? Do these men want a woman they can crack in half if she gets out of control? When are we going to see a matchmaking reality show with Full Figured women as contestants? I know that there are a few men out there that like their women with some meat……. At least 3 or 4…… so where are they? I guess Fat Chicks don’t make good reality TV. I guess maybe I should start thinking of a formula to make it work for us Fat Chicks………

True Beauty

2009-01-21T19:29:00.000-05:00

I started watching this show on ABC called True Beauty (Mon 10pm). If you don’t watch it, I will give a brief explanation of the show: a bunch of “beautiful people” are competing to be THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN AMERICA but they are not only being judged on looks but on actions too, the kicker is that they don’t know it. Each week, they are put in situations where they need to prove that they are kind or generous to others as well as physically beautiful. 1 person is eliminated each week.
I have watched 2 episodes and THE PRETTY PEOPLE ARE NUTS!! And some of them are downright mean to each other as well as everyone around them. As I watch this show and how terrible these people are, I have to wonder WHY?? What do they have to be so damn mean about? As I sat there thinking about how if I had their “problems” I would never be as mean and vicious as these people are, I think I figured it out…….THEY ARE HUNGRY!! They are so worried about keeping themselves beautiful that they never eat anything. A big meal for these people is a Diet Coke and a pretzel with a TicTac for dessert. A lack of food can make you crazy sometimes I bet. I know when I go without food for a while, I get a little loopy but these people are insane! I bet if we went and fed these people some burgers, fries, pizza and onion rings, they would be a heck of a lot nicer. I know when I have eaten a meal of good food that I really like, I am really pleasant to be around so maybe we should try it on these pretty people. If I knew where they were, I would call Domino’s in their area and place an order for like 15 pizzas and subs with some Mountain Dew and Pepsi’s to drink. Too bad McDonald’s or Burger King don’t deliver because I would have some Big Mac’s and Whopper’s with milk shakes delivered too. We’ll get them drunk on calories and fat grams!! Well, it’s just a thought.

The Diet Dilemma

2009-01-14T03:52:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I made a New Year’s Resolution to really lose weight this year. I know that it is something that I really need to do so I have been spending some time trying to find new and creative ways to lose weight. There are all kinds of pills and creams and gels and potions and mixtures all over the internet that are suppose to make you lose 20 lbs overnight or 50 lbs in 7 days by eating sand and daisy petals but that is just insane! The only way to lose that kind of weight is to amputate a limb or 2 and don’t think I haven’t thought about it because I have! But after a few minutes I realize that I would have to live an arm or leg and that would bother me.
I have tried so many diets and they never work for me. I have read articles about what makes a diet successful and no one seems to really have a solution to the Diet Dilemma. I have been thinking about what would make a diet work for me and it seems that I need to find foods that I really enjoy eating but that are not bad for me. So, let’s see…….. that would eliminate the Pizza Diet, the Burger Diet, the Taco Bell Diet, the Lasagna diet, the Pasta, Pasta, Pasta Diet so what is a Fat Chick to do?? I guess I need to CREATE MY OWN DIET! When I have tried this in the past, friends and family have told me NO but I don’t see them with a degree in dietology so I have been working on creating my own diet and we’ll see how I do.
Ok, my first attempt at solving the Diet Dilemma is The Diet Coke Diet. All Diet Coke, All The Time!! There are so many varieties of Diet Coke now – There is Regular Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Lime, Diet Coke with Cherry, Diet Coke Plus, and Caffeine Free Diet Coke! Now if that isn’t enough variety for you than you can try The Diet Pepsi Diet – Diet Pepsi, Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi with Vanilla, Diet Pepsi with Lime, Pepsi Max, Diet Pepsi with Wild Cherry, Black Cherry French Vanilla Diet Pepsi Jazz, Caramel Cream Diet Pepsi Jazz. When I came up with these diets, friends told me I was crazy and would have to put some “real food” in there somewhere so I decided to change it a little to the Diet Cola and Broccoli Diet – alternate between Diet Soda and broccoli all day long! Then someone came along and said I needed to add some protein in there somewhere so I decided that I would go with the Diet Cola, Broccoli and broiled chicken diet – OK, you drink diet cola all day and then for dinner you alternate between chicken and broccoli but on the 3rd day, you have chicken AND broccoli together!! How is that for variety!? Now if you really want to be CRAZY you can go with the DIET SODA diet. How is this different from my other 2 you ask? Well, the others only had Diet Cola’s but this one incorporates all diet soda’s – Diet 7-Up, Diet Sprite, Sierra Mist Zero, Diet Root Beer, Diet Orange Soda, etc. And you can add the Broccoli and/or Chicken to it also! As I worked on these, I realized that ther was something very important to me missing from my diet attempts – COFFEE!! I love coffee and don’t think that I could give it up so I had to add that into the mix so I came up with the Coffee and Diet Soda Diet – Coffee for breakfast, Soda for lunch and BOTH FOR DINNER! I can mix and match all of these!! Add a salad in here and there! Sounds like a plan!! Maybe I will try it and see how I do!
I will keep you updated on my status………

Happy New Year!! It’s 2009!

2009-01-07T19:21:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it is 2009 already? I am so happy that the holidays are FINALLY over! I am normally a huge fan of the holidays but this year, not so much! 2008 has been a rough year and I have been eager for it to end as quickly as possible. THANK GOD it is over and a new year has begun!

I took some time off over the holidays. I was a lazy bum! No reading, no writing, no NOTHING!
I think I needed to recharge my perverbial battery. Not sure if I did it or not but at least I tried!

So……. A new year and what does almost every woman do at New years? We make a New Years Resolution to LOSE WEIGHT! Why do we do it? Now, there are those among us who have a real reason to make that resolution but why do these 95 lb chickys feel the need? It certainly isn’t because they are FAT! If that is fat then I must be a PLANET! Maybe I will change my name to The Fat Planet!!

We’ll see if I have better luck this year than I have in the past. Wish me luck and Happy 2009!!

Merry Freakin' Christmas!

2009-01-06T19:59:00.003-05:00

( this was originally written the week before Christmas but with the Holidays, I am a bit behind in my postings so I am trying to catch up now.)

I know, fat people are suppose to be all chipper and happy and jolly but this Christmas season, I am just not feeling it!

The economy is in the crapper. Jobs are nowhere to be found. Money is tighter than a size 2 skirt. Worst of all, people are CRAZY!! I don’t just mean NORMAL crazy, I’m talking SUPER DUPER WACKY DOODLE CRAZY! The kind of crazy that will grab a pair of socks out of your hands at Wal-Mart because they need THOSE SPECIFIC SOCKS for their grandson.
Like the plague, I avoid shopping the day after Thanksgiving because I don’t want to have to deal with the wacky-doodles that are shopping for the $9.99 DVD player and the $.25 cd’s. People will knock you down and roll over you with their shopping cart just for looking at them crosseyed while in the accessories aisle. And being a “woman of size” makes it even more of a struggle because people won’t think twice about yelling at you for “being in the way” while they are trying to get something off of a shelf or a rack. Needless to say, being Christmas and all, I was forced to do some shopping for Christmas presents and it was not the joyous event that you might think. I have a purse that my neice is quite fond of and I happened to get it at Super Kmart a few months ago so I decided to go back to try to get one for her. It started off rather innocently: I get my shopping cart and start roaming through the store. I see some nice gift packs, greeting cards, etc. I decide that I want to look at the shoes ( I have a bit of a shoe obsession) so I head to the shoe department. As I turn down an aisle of casual shoes, I notice 2 older women at the other end of the aisle and smile at them as I always do at strangers whose attention I get. They smiled and nodded back at me and went back to their shopping. I find a pair pof shoes or 2 that I want to try on so I move a little further down the aisle to the little seat. As I sit down to slip off my shoes, I hear these 2 “lovely old women” chatting. It isn’t my intention to eavesdrop but I kinda couldn’t help it……. They were speaking loudly and they were talking about ME! Bertha and Buela (the names I have decided to give them) were standing within 5 feet of me and were talking about me loud enough to be heard by not only me but everyone within a 5 aisle radius! Bertha states that it is just a shame how “young women” today are letting their appearances go. OK, first I am flattered that they think I am YOUNG but then I realize that they are both older than dirt so my grandmother would be young to them. Buela kicks in a “Well, with the internet and cell phones and stuff, they just don’t care like we did when we were younger. Appearance just doesn’t seem to mean as much as now as it did in our youth.” As my jaw fell to the floor and I lost all feeling in my entire body, I couldn’t help but wonder what the heck these two old geezers were talking about! Not sure what reality they are living in but in my reality, appearance is far more important than it should be. As I sat there barefoot and numb, I prayed that my evil fat chick twin would stay in her closet and not take control of my body and attack these 2 little old women. As Esmerelda (my evil fat chick twin) began to plead her case for attacking Bertha and Buela, I turned toward these 2 women and watched them for a moment. Esmerelda began explaining how easy it would be to crush them with our right leg and still try shoes on our left. I was beginning to hush Esmerelda when she gave me a vision of the 2 little old women cowering at the end of the aisle, clutching onto each other and pleading for mercy as we grew into a Fat Chick Godzilla like creature and made our way down the aisle to teach them some manners, growling, crashing into the shoe shelves and throwing 3 inch heels at then on our way. As amusing as this thought was, I knew it was not the way to go in this situation. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, giggled a little and went back to my shoe shopping, keeping Esmerelda in check. Bertha and Buela continued to yell at each other about their granddaughter’s black hair and grandson’s inability to dress himself but what can we expecct since their parents don’t care how they look so why should the kids. And then Buela looked back in my direction and said “It’s a shame really, she has such a pretty face.” At this, Esmerelda came flying out of the closet and took over. We glared at Bertha and Buela, cleared our throat and said “You do realize that I can hear you, right? You know that I have heard every world you have said about me. In the future, you may want to learn to whisper when you want to talk about someone who is within 6 feet of you.” I picked up the shoes I planned to buy, threw them in my cart and headed down the aisle in their direction. Both women’s dentures practically fell out of their mouths as I walked past them to exit the aisle. Yep, I walked right at them and made them separate so that I could get through. Why? Not sure but I enjoyed it! Rude people need to be taught a lesson and who better than me to teach it to them.

Food....... Magic?

2008-12-03T18:26:00.001-05:00

As I have mentioned over and over and over again, I am an emotional/stress eater and right now my world if full of nothing but STRESS!! Why does my brain tell me that eating is going to make everything better? So far, my brain has been wrong in this area but I am not sure how to let it know. Something seems to happen when things get all freaky deaky in my world – My brain tells me that eating a pizza is going to make my parents fighting not as bad or eating a burger will resolve the fight that I have just had with a friend or eating a tray of lasagna will make getting laid off not quite so bad. Does my brain know something that no one else knows? If so, we need to get the word out so that President Elect Obama can get this war we are in resolved by eating Subs – meatball and italian subs. Maybe this whole banking issue can be fixed by eating Chinese food – egg rolls and wontons. And the real estate problems, maybe those can be fixed by eating some cake – red velvet and devils food! My brain has figured out what the rest of the world needs to know – FOOD IS MAGIC! The divorce rate will drop because couples wanting one will be able to eat philly cheesesteaks and potatoe chips and everything will be better! There will be no more fights within families because eating a turkey and stuffing will make everyone get along.
If only this were the case but I am a prime example that it isn’t! Eating has not solved any of my problems. In fact, it has probably made all of my problems worse. I wish that I could find that magic potion that would make all of my problems go away because I would take it, bottle it and sell it on the open market and become a millionaire!! Since I don’t see that happening any time soon, I guess I will just have to work on dealing with these things in my own way and hopefully come across a better way to deal with my issues. Wish me luck!

Thanksgiving: The Most Evil of All Holidays!

2008-11-25T14:30:00.000-05:00

I love the holidays, really! But considering my current life journey, a holiday that revolves around eating seems to be a bit of a joke!! I mean, I am a FAT CHICK who is wanting to loose some weight and how do we loose weight but to STOP EATING!! We have been planning our Thanksgiving menu since last week and we did the Thanksgiving shopping yesterday to avoid the mad rush of Wednesday.

Now, I come from a large family of eaters! We LOVE TO EAT so Thanksgiving has been a favorite Holiday as far back as I remember. My grandmother would start cooking 2 days early and we would eat ALL DAY LONG - It was great. My family is now spread out across the country so Thanksgiving isn’t what it use to be but we still have a great time and have fabulous food!

I love my Mother, really I do but she likes to pick up strays around the holidays. She meets people who don’t have family in the area and adopts them, especially at this time of year. Now, to an extent, I don’t mind this but there are times when I wish she would think it through. Like Thanksgiving…… we are a family of big eaters and some people just aren’t use to that and might get scared at the dinner table. Personally, I would like to avoid the look of fear in Susy Strays eyes when we lunge at the table like a bunch of starving tigers and begin ripping the turkey apart and inhaling the baked macaroni but Mom sees it differently. She doesn’t seem to see a problem with the Stray hiding and wimpering under the table when we start hand shoveling mashed potatoes in our mouths and pouring gravy into our mouths directly from the gravy boat. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think I want some little stranger witnessing this yearly ritual. I mean, why bother with utensils or dinner ware? That’s just another load in the dishwasher and this is a Holiday, right? And why clean the table before taking the after dinner nap? We are just gonna start eating again when we wake up so we can just leave the table as is when we fall asleep in place after we finish eating. At this point, Susie Stray has probably locked herself in the bathroom and is crying for someone to come and save her because she probably suspects that SHE IS DESSERT! Which is totally wrong because we have cheesecake, coffee cake, apple pie, ice cream, Boston Cream Pie, coconut cake and jell-o, why would we waste dessert on her when we have all that!

OK, so this is a huge exageration as I hope you have guessed by now. I guess what I am saying is that this, in my opinion, is a holiday for family and close friends, not for strangers because they just don’t understand the strange habits of a family!

Much love to all and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Time to save Lipstick Jungle!

2008-11-21T22:05:00.003-05:00

OK, The Fat Chick is a little ticked off right now! I just read online that one of my favorite shows, Lipstick Jungle, is suppose to be cancelled soon. This really ticks me off because they will keep on crap shows forever but when a great show like this comes on, it gets canned! What the heck is that all about? I don't know but I am adding a link to a petition here so that if anyone reading this likes the show and wants to try to help keep the show on they can join the crusade!

http://www.petitiononline.com/lsj777/petition.html.

And I can't not throw a pitch out there for one of my other favorite new shows, My Own Worst Enemy. Word is floating that it may be cancelled also and I don't want that to happen so if you watch it, please sign the petition also.

http://tvseriesfinale.com/articles/my-own-worst-enemy-petition-nbc-to-keep-the-christian-slater-tv-show-on-the-air/

Thanks!!

Freakin' Reality TV!

2008-11-21T19:51:00.000-05:00

I am not perfect but I am beginning to think that some of the things that I am seeing on TV are completely insane! I am a total TV junkie, I admit it but sometimes I see things on TV that make me wonder what the heck in going on in the world that makes us (myself included) watch these things.
OK, here are my current obsession/frustration shows, THANK YOU VH-1!! Rock of Love Charm School and Celebrity Rehab.
Let’s Start with Rock of Love Charm School: Where do they find these women? Is there a farm out in Utah somewhere that grooms them for stripper/porn/reality shows? Did these women sit in their and trashy and be seen by MILLIONS?” I don’t get it!! OK, when I was like 6 or 7, I told my aunt I wanted to be a hooker because I saw a woman on TV wearing shiny tight pants and high heeled shoes and I wanted to wear them but I was 6 or 7 so I guess it doesn’t really count. The show is like a bunch of Trailer Park Barbie’s living together!! I don’t completely understand why I set my freakin’ DVR to record it each week but I DO! And on top of that, I can’t wait to watch it and see what is going on in the Trailer Park!
Now we move onto Celebrity Rehab. Why? Why would anyone in theeir right mind, celebrity or not, want to be recorded going thru drug and/or alcohol rehab? Now, some of these people I really feel for and kinda like but then there is Gary Busey and Jeff Conaway! What the heck is wrong with these 2? They are either fighting like a pair of freakin’ schoolgirls or they are the best of friends…….. like a pair of freakin’ schoolgirls! I mean these 2 have come to physical blows in the first 20 minutes of a episode and by the end, they are practically making out! And Jeff.. thid one has actually called the police and complained that he was being held against his will!! He signed up for it!! Then Gary Busey acts like he is a therapist for everyone else in the group one minute and then the next minute he is preaching. In one episode, he attacked a cameraman for recording him………WHAT?? WHY?? It is a TV show so how else is it suppose to be seen on tv un less it is recorded. Are we suppose to psychically connect with him and know what is happening or maybe it will be divine viewing by Gary praying it into our consciousness! Osmosis!
Am I crazy? Have I completely lost my mind? I am not sure why I watch these shows but I do and I freakin’ enjoy them! Of course, afdter I have watched these shows and enjoyed every minute of them, I spend the next hour totally ashamed of myself and trying to figure out how to wash all of the craziness off of me! Oh well, it is the cycle of life, I guess.

That Darn Food Network.....

2008-11-07T22:58:00.001-05:00

I have always like watching The Food Network….. I mean REALLY like watching it….. like almost borderline addicted! Well, USE TO BE borderline addicted until I started noticing some things.

Have you noticed that almost all of the stars on The Food Network are thin? I mean really thin!! Some of them look like they haven’t eaten in a month. But they talk like they eat constantly and everything in sight but I think not! Prime Example – Giada De Laurentis! I absolutely hate her because she is this tiny little woman who makes all of these fattening Italian foods and CLAIMS that she eats like a pig but she is the size of a freakin’ toothpick! And Aida Mollenkamp of Ask Aida…. She might as well be a model, not a chef. I wonder if she eats anything that she makes. Then there is Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade, she makes all of the wonderful, decadent meals but looks like she barely eats anything that she cooks. And we can’t forget the guys…… Bobby Flay! He is Mr Skinny and makes all of these bbq meals and I know there is almost NOTHING diet about bbq. I don’t know about you but I don’t trust a chef who doesn’t look like they eat their own creations!

Don’t get me wrong, not all of the Stars are these skinny people. We have Paula Deen, who my mother LOVES and she is a wonderful “plump” grandma type but my arteries get clogged just WATCHING her shows. This woman puts more butter, sour cream and mayonnaise in her recipes, I don’t understand how she isn’t 900 lbs! I don’t think the word HEALTHY is in her vocabulary. Then we have The Neely’s… its bad enough watching them is like watching Kitchen Porn but the foods that they make put 10 lbs on you just reading the recipe.

Thank God there are also some REAL PEOPLE cooking on the Food Network too. There is Nigella, she is a beautiful woman who looks like she eats her own cooking and makes an attempt to make some healthier meals. The Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, is another one who is lovely and cooks beautiful meals and makes a nice balance between healthy and not so healthy meals. And we have America’s Sweetheart Rachael Ray! I actually like her quite a bit because she is real about her cooking. She makes great meals and gives options to make them healthier if you want and makes them easy to make too.
She has taken the world by storm and still seems to be a real person and you gotta respect that.

I like watching cooking shows. They can be really entertaining and can be helpful in creating foods that taste good and are healthy. I get frustrated when I watch a boney thin person cooking a fattening meal and they are happy to eat just a bite or 2. If it were me, I would eat the whole damn thing and still want more! I want to watch people cook who I can believe are eating the foods themselves….like I might eat the foods.

I know I have issues with food and I don’t try to hide that from anyone. Why me? I don’t know. Will I ever get over these issues with food? Not sure but there is always hope for a Fat Chick, right?

Finally....... the election is over!

2008-11-05T00:34:00.003-05:00

I have said nothing so far about this election but now that it is over and we have a winner, I guess I will say something.....
HALLELUJAH! OBAMA WON!! YAY!! HORRAY!! YIPPY!!! YOWZA!!
'Nuff said!

The REAL You!

2008-11-03T15:12:00.001-05:00

A strange thing happens with you suddenly have more time on your hands than you are use to having – you are forced to deal with you and all of your own issues, whether you like it or not! The truth is that I DON’T LIKE IT, not one damn bit!! I try to be a “happy-go-lucky” chick but sometimes that is just not possible. There comes a time when you have no choice but to stand, stripped naked, both physically and mentally, in front of the mirror and see yourself….. THE REAL YOU!! Not the you that you let all of your friends see, or the one that you show to your family, not the you that you show to strangers when you are in the mall or grocery, or the you that gets shoved out when the real you is just not ready to face the world. You have to face the YOU that sometimes cries herself to sleep at night, the you that stands in the closet in the morning and thinks “Why does it matter how I look?”, the you that feels useless or worthless or even a failure. Even the most positive person has to do battle with that part of themself and if they deny it, they are lying. The trick is to find a way to win the battle - find a way to fight through the fog of self doubt, self loathing, insecurity, hurt and even self hate! You have to fight until you are able to see the light again.
Well, I have my boxing gloves on and I am having that fight right now. I feel like no matter how hard I try to loose weight and/or get healthy, I fail miserably!! There are times when I feel like I am doing good on a weight loss program and when the time comes to weigh in, I’ve gained weight, not lost! How does that happen? So, of course, I automatically throw myself into a large pizza, a pan of lasagna, a philly cheese steak or a tray of nachos in hopes that it will make me feel better about my failure. I stuff my face and , for that moment, everything is OK – the food give me a very temporary feeling of relief and all is good in the world. Once the food is gone, the self hate begins! I start to hate myself for eating, for loosing control, for giving in to that little voice that tells me that once I eat everything will be OK and my problems won’t bother me anymore. The truth is that all that eating has just added to my problems! I may have just eaten enough to add another pound to my weight and that sure isn’t helping the situation.
So, how do you stop the eating cycle? How do you stop feeling like food will solve your problems? This may sound like a weird question to some but to people like me, who are addicted to food, it makes perfect sense. So, how do I stop? How do I start to change my association with food? It isn’t easy, that’s for sure but I have to do it. I am working on it, really I am and with the help and support of family, friends, my Dr and anyone else who can help me, I will make it!!

Thank God I don’t live in Alabama

2008-10-27T23:32:00.000-04:00

Last night I was doing some late night online reading and came across an article that knocked me off of my bed and caused me to cry for my Mommy!
The state of Alabama has just approved a plan that will charge its employees a monthly “penalty” if they do not loose weight to the states satisfaction within a year. The state normally does not charge it’s employees for health insurance but they will begin to Jan 2010 if they are unable to loose weight if they are deemed obese after a medical screening. If they are deemed overweight , they have a year to become “healthy” or they will begin to have to pay for their health insurance.
Is it me or does that sound a bit like DISCRIMINATION? I mean it is Alabama so maybe they don’t know any better but you would think that someone in the state would realize that this is not the smartest thing to do.
This is like McDonald’s saying that people with blonde hair have to pay more for their Big Mac’s than anyone else. Or Wal-Mart charging people with blue eyes for bags and not charging anyone else.
What do you think? Can someone out there find a way to help me understand this a little better?

A Wikizine!!!

2008-10-15T11:43:00.002-04:00

I was chatting with someone who reads my blog regularly and they gave me a genius idea...... maybe I should start a Wikizine!! OK, at first, I wasn't sure what the heck a wikizine was but I am GREAT at Google and Ask.com so I quickly found out without anyone realizing that I wasn't sure in the first place! (Sometimes I am just too smart!) Just in case you don't know what it is, a wikizine is a web-based magazine that any reader can update or add to. Doesn't that sound like fun! I have been thinking it over for a few days and decided that this is a GREAT IDEA! I found a site that hosts wikizines and started one for me, you and anyone else who is interested. And are you ready for the name......... Don't Hate Me Because I am BIG AND BEAUTIFUL. Now, what I need from you are ideas on what we want there. Articles....... reviews....... what would interest YOU? This may fall flat on its butt or it could end up being something fantastic, help me figure it out!!

Time to whine about dieting.......

2008-10-06T15:59:00.002-04:00

Today is D day for me!! I am getting back on the dieting bandwagon whether I like it or not! I have already had breakfast, coffee AND journaled my food so HA!
I have to admit that the idea that I am watching what I eat makes me want to eat EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE!! All I can think about is the pasta in the cabinet, the bread in breadbox, the bagels on top of the fridge, the numbers for the pizza delivery places, the menus for the chinese delivery places, etc. Why does that happen? Yesterday I was all psyched and ready to go but today I am craving every freakin' food imaginable, even foods that I normally don't crave! Chocolate. for instance. I am not a huge chocolate eater but for some reason, right now I would give my right arm for a piece of some kind of chocolate. And my left arm for some blueberry pop tarts!
Ok, that is enough ranting for now. Will probably be back later to share more...... don't miss me too much!

My Love/Hate Relationship with TV

2008-10-04T21:27:00.000-04:00

I think I am totally addicted to TV. I love just about every genre – drama, comedy, reality – you name it, I have at least 1 or 2 shows in each genre that is MUST SEE FOR ME! With as much of an addict as I am, I really have a love/hate relationship with TV in general.
I Love TV! I love the escape of it. People on TV live much more interesting lives than I do so it is great to just live vicariously thru them when my day to day life is just too much to handle.
I also Hate TV! I hate the fact that a majority of the women on TV are 5ft 9in, 110lb and virtually perfect. This makes a fat chick like me feel a little out of place in society as a whole! And why? Doesn’t Hollywood realize that these sort of women are the MINORITY, not the majority! The average woman is a size 12, not the size 5 that Hollywood and the media seem to want us to believe. What is wrong with women in the movies and TV looking like the average woman? We can’t all be Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron and I guess that is a good thing. Imagine how boring life would be if every women was GORGEOUS. And why does every slightly heavy woman on TV have to be the best friend or THE FUNNY ONE in the group? Are jokes funnier when they come from the mouth of a fat chick? Would you not be able to accept bad news from a chubby girl? Is it so hard to believe that a full figured gal could find love with the guy who lives on the 3rd floor of her apartment building? These things are not hard for me to believe because I AM THAT GIRL!
If I ruled the world…. Or at least Hollywood, I would create a TV network just for us Fat Chicks and I would call it PLUMP TV! The lead in every show, the anchors of every news show, the host of every talk show and the contestants in every reality show would be a full figured!! We would have shows about everything that is “fat” - food, clothes, books, music, decorating, etc. We would encourage people to accept themselves for who they are and not for who and what society wants them to be. We would encourage people to be HEALTHY, not just thin. We would give these heavy people who have felt ignored, abused and taken for granted a voice and let that voice be heard loud and proud! We would give these people the knowledge that they are not alone and that no matter what, there is someone out there who understands them….. someone who cares!
Maybe this is all a dream for this fat chick but a chick can dream, right??

Change in Reading Plans.......

2008-10-03T00:35:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I've been thinking......... I really want to read something but right now I have to wait for the books that I ordered earlier to be delivered and I DON'T WANT TO!! (Yes, I may have had a little Fat Chick temper tantrum earlier but I am entitled!) I moved recently so my books are scattered all over the place but I came across a box that had some of my books in it and came across one that I have decided to start reading. I read the introduction and I loved it!! So here we go again.....

The Fat Girl's Guide to Life by Wendy Shanker
http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Girls-Guide-Life/dp/1582345538/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223008868&sr=8-1
I read some of the reviews on Amazon about the book and EVERYONE seems to just love it and see it as required reading so lets see if I feel the same! I am so excited to start reading that I just ordered 2 new pairs of reading glasses!! A pretty purple pair and a great green pair!! Can't wait for them to get here!!

Now I am off to update my fledgling website with this little jewel of information.

Fat Chick Book ideas

2008-10-02T13:14:00.002-04:00

First, I want to say THANK YOU to those of you who have sent me reading ideas. I have gotten quite a few so I have decided to do a little sharing with my fellow Fat Chicks! As I got recommendations, I would look them up on Amazon to see if it was something that I might like since I am such a picky reader. Well, I came up with quite a few that have made a short list to be read in the next few months. I will share them with you from time to time and when I have finished one, I will share my thoughts.

The first book on my list is:
Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer by Jen Lancaster.
http://www.amazon.com/Such-Pretty-Fat-Narcissists-Discover/dp/0451223896/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3S621U5MJM2QC&colid=ASYX21KBAKB6
On the Amazon page for this book, there is a video by the author that made me laugh quite a bit. She is really funny and seems to share my point of view on Life as a Fat Chick

Book #2 is:
Size 12 is Not Fat: A Heather Wells Mystery by Meg Cabot
http://www.amazon.com/Size-12-Not-Fat-Heather/dp/0060525118/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2OR6VKJF1QPPK&colid=ASYX21KBAKB6
This one is more of a traditional Chick-Lit novel with a Full Figured heroine. I love a good mystery!

I placed an order on Amazon today so hopefully in a few days I will be reading one of these 2 books and can give you all my thoughts and ideas on the books.

Feelin' the need to do some reading.....

2008-09-28T20:43:00.005-04:00

I have been feeling the need to do some reading lately. I have always been a mystery or suspense reader but lately I have wanted to read something funny so I have decided to look into some chick-lit stuff but as I am looking, all I seem to be finding are books about Tiny Tina's who are having man problems BUT they find love in the end with the friendly neighborhood male model from down the hall. Why is this? Why can't I find a book about someone more like me? The closest that I have found are the Bridget Jones books but I kinda got aggravatged with those because Bridget was all of 20 lbs overweight and the book was written as though she was 200 lbs overweight. I loved the books and enjoyed the movies as much as I could enjoy a movie starring Renee Zelwegger (???) but I want something that I can connect with ..... I want a heroine like me!! So now, I am on a mission to find a book that I can connect with to read. Anyone out there in BlogVille got any ideas for me..... Let me know!

Now, Come On "Anonymous"........

2008-09-20T00:48:00.002-04:00

I am a blogger.... in a way, it is my therapy. It is how I vent my frustrations from day to day life living in a society that tells me that I am less of a woman/person because I am overweight and I don't fit into the mold that magazines like Cosmo and Glamour tell us is the ideal for a woman. It is one way that I have chosen to deal with the way that some people decide to treat me because I am the way that I am, the rude comments and assumptions that are sometimes made about me by people who don't even know me when I am shopping at Wal-Mart or the mall. This is where I share my deep, private thoughts, sometimes they are the norm and sometimes they are a bit out there! They may be rude, they may be funny, they may be hostile but they are never acted upon..... anyone who has read my blog knows this!!
I am all for people commenting about my blogs - the good, the bad and the in-between BUT if you are going to comment, I would appreciate you being BRAVE enough to give your name/username and not hiding behind ANONYMOUS, especially if you are going to make negative comments. If you read it and enjoy/empathize/sympathize with what you read, fantastic!! Keep on reading and let me know! If you don't like what you are reading, STOP and move on to something else.

I love Grey's Anatomy!!

2008-09-18T00:38:00.001-04:00

one of those craz but fun personality quizzes!

It’s a conspiracy, damn it!!

2008-09-11T17:52:00.000-04:00

I am convinced that they are all out to get me! Yes, the entire freakin’ world is out to get me and I don’t know why! I mean, I am a nice girl. I try to be helpful to others and reasonably nice. OK, I don’t play well with stupid but at least I try! But with the way things are going, I am beginning to think there is a weekly newsletter (sent out by mail and email), monthly meetings (held by conference call and Virtual- if everyone got together at once, I might get curious so they are getting creative), a board of directors and a home office somewhere is Utah. It would have to be in Utah, I have never had good luck with the Mormons. But, why me? This is the part that I am not sure of but I will figure it out!
So, I bet you are wondering why I think they are out to get me? Let me explain…….. Being a Fat Chick, I am use to people staring at me and sometimes even making rude comments but lately it seems like there are even more people staring and lots of whispering going on. Yesterday in Wal-Mart, there were these 2 women looking at shoes when I went down a shoe aisle. It didn’t look like they knew each other but right after I walked passed them, they seemed to start whispering. This seemed to be a constant theme thru my trip to Wal-Mart and Target yesterday. It was like everywhere I turned, little groups of people would gather to chat and I was the only common denominator in the equation so they had to be talking about me, right??? Were they preparing reports to submit to the home office when they got home? Maybe they were sending text messages to each other or maybe they are sending them to the home office in Utah, that would be much more convenient and efficient!! And if you are going to plan and operate a conspiracy, it is better to be efficient. I would expect them to treat this conspiracy like a business and do it in the most effective manner possible because that is what I would do! I can’t help but wonder how all of these people got involved? Was there a mass email sent out? Maybe someone started a blog about me and it all got started there… How long has this been going on? A few weeks or months? Could it be years? Who could dislike me so much for so long to put all of this energy and effort into it? Maybe it all started with those girls in school and church who were jealous because I was asked to sing in assemblies and church ….. maybe it was those girls in grade school who I wouldn’t let copy off of me on tests….. I KNOW!! It’s that little girl from kindergarten who wanted my nap spot by the window! That little bitch! She has probably been watching me all these years and has turned everyone against me! If I can ever remember her name, I’m gonna get her and get her good!! Petty little monster child!! I have to go and find my kindergarten year book so I can find her!

Sister Starshine....

2008-08-31T23:32:00.001-04:00

I am just too old for this crap! I didn’t like “friend drama” when I was a freakin’ teenager so why in God’s name would I like it as an adult? I DON’T LIKE IT ONE DAMN BIT so I think I will give up on the whole “friend” crap, become a hermit, move to the mountains of Tibet, wear nothing but tree bark and leaves and go by the name Sister Starshine!
I bet you are sitting in front of your computer there thinking “Why would our lovable little Fat Chick feel like this now?” Well, I’m gonna tell you right now……. Prepare yourself for a non-weight/food/fat/diet related rant.
I have never been one of these people that feels it necessary to have 3.5 million friends. Quite the opposite really. I normally have 2 or 3 real friends so it is a pretty exclusive club - we have a special handshake and t-shirts and weekly meetings where we discuss world news and politics and our own written language that only we can understand…… OK, I am exaggerating a bit but I don’t feel a need to have oddles and oodles of friends, just a few. Now because this is such an exclusive club, it takes a lot for me to really trust someone enough to give them the keys to my inner sanctum so when someone that I have trusted disappoints or hurts me, it is like a dagger in my heart because I feel like I have not entered into that friendship easily.
We all have problems and we should be able to turn to friends when we need support but should friends assume and expect you to bend over backwoods to accommodate their needs while giving no consideration to your needs? HELL NO! Am I perfect? No, I’m not but I would NEVER assume that someone is going to do something for me BEFORE I ask them and then get mad at them for not doing it when they say they can’t. What makes it worse is that I have had my own issues that I have had to deal with for the past few months and this friends has shown very little concern for me – an occasional text message, attitude when I couldn’t or didn’t want to go to dinner when THEY wanted to but never wanting to do anything with me when I wanted to or could and no attempt at compromise. I was already feeling like there were some issues prior to the most recent issue but this one just pushed me over the edge! How dare she assume that I will put my life on hold to accommodate her needs! Like I am sitting at home, in my room anxiously awaiting her call so that I can giggle with glee because she needs me. Not this fat chick! Lately I feel like it is taking enough for me to keep myself together and she is expecting me to drop everything because she wants me to. Not a chance in hell, not for anyone, best friend or not! When I sit down and really think about this, I can’t help but feel like a true friend wouldn’t EXPECT me to drop everything for them. Friends are suppose to care for each other, ITS SUPPOSE TO BE MUTUAL! When the friendship looses the mutual respect, there is a problem that may not be able to be fixed because if it happens once, it may happen again. I don’t know that I am willing to take that risk. So, with a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye, I am off to get my ticket to Tibet, change the locks to my inner sanctum and think up a new secret handshake.......

Damn Magazines!!

2008-08-21T19:07:00.001-04:00

As far back as I can remember, I have loved magazines. When I was a teenager, there was nothing better than sitting in my room reading Glamour or Seventeen. As I got a little older, Cosmo got into the mix. I had stacks and stacks of magazines on my bookshelf because I never wanted to get rid of them so I DIDN’T! As time has gone by, I have grown and matured but I am becoming more and more frustrated with magazines. “Why all the frustration, Fat Chick?” you are probably asking yourself. Well, let me tell you…..There are very few, if any magazines for women like ME! Let’s face it, Glamour, Allure, Cosmo, Marie Claire, etc - these are all for the anorexic, partying, teenage, supermodel types, not FAT CHICKS like me!! I look thru these fashion magazines and all I see are articles on how to loose 5 lbs or how to make sure that your stripped hose don’t clash with your plaid mini skirt or, better yet, what products to use to get your hair to stand up at least 8 inches on top of your head! Then, to add insult to injury, some of these magazines have these WONDERFUL “Do and Don’t” columns that ALWAYS show slightly heavy women in the DON’T pictures and severely anorexic women in the DO pictures. I have nothing against thin people but do these publishing companies have something against me, an overweight woman? I looked through an issue of Glamour last night and by the time I got to page 178, I wanted to cry! As I turned the pages, I saw nothing that related to someone like me. The advertisements were for overpriced handbags and perfumes, the pictorials were for clothing that no normal women would be caught dead in and the articles were written for celebutants! As I sat on my bed reading though the magazine and my frustration grew, I glanced over at my dresser and saw my big box of Sharpies (I have a small obsession with Sharpies so I have quite a few – basic colors, tropical colors, metalics, etc) and I got the most ingenious idea!! I crawled over to the dresser, got my Sharpies and prepared myself for a little “Fat Chick” fun! As I browsed through the magazine, I “enhanced” the pictures. I gave some of the models hot pink mustaches, others metallic blue ponytails, others 30 extra bright turquoise pounds and still others I just decorated the pictures in whatever way made me happy! As much fun as I had coloring and destroying that issue of Glamour, I realized that this didn’t change the fact that there are really no magazines for “Full Figured” women like me. Why is that? Do “full figured” or heavy women not deserve a fashion magazine? Do we not spend as much money on clothing and accessories as our skinny counterparts? Sometimes, I think we spend more but that is just my opinion. I did an internet search and the only one that I could really find is Figure magazine – One magazine for a group that accounts for more than half of the population. How is that fair! Do they think that the food magazines make up for it? I don’t think so! Oh well, I guess it is the price I pay for being a FAT CHICK.

Recovery from a Fat Chick Pity Party

2008-08-18T19:02:00.000-04:00

There is no doubt in my mind that I am not the only Fat Chick out there who sometimes feels like if I were only thin, my life would be absolutely perfect! I mean, we watch TV and movies and all of the thin women have everything they could ever want or need – great friends, great careers, great men, great homes, great cars, great clothes, etc. And we all know that movies and TV NEVER lie!
Well, last night I had myself a Fat Chick Pity Party, streamers and all! I was feeling a little down and wanted to eat every ounce of pasta in the house – I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER and I was on an emotional overload. I couldn’t sleep, which is not unusual, so as I laid in bed trying to force myself to go to sleep like I normally do by closing my eyes, taking deep breathes and telling myself to go to sleep. Of course, when I don’t fall asleep I curse myself out because I won’t listen to myself! I know, makes perfect sense. As I lay there, somehow I found a way to blame all of the problems in my life on my weight. I mean EVERYTHING – the fact that I had to pee over the moon had nothing to do with drinking a liter of water an hour before going to bed. No! It was directly related to being overweight. So I sat up in bed and thought about how my life would be different/better if I weighed 115 pounds. For some reason, in my sleep deprived state I started thinking that my friends would like me more if I were thin and I would have a better hair if I were thin. These were the 2 that stood out the most but I had a freakin’ laundry list of things that would be better if I were thin. I even started to think that maybe I should go and have the lapband surgery done so that I can get thin fast and have a PERFECT life! Exactly how delusional was I? It had to be the sleep deprivation. I FINALLY fell asleep and when I woke up this morning I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell my problem was last night! Had I read something that totally messed with my head? Had I watched something on TV that brainwashed me? What the heck? I sat in bed this morning wondering what my problem was but I then realized that it is not worth the time and energy that I was spending trying to figure it out. I had snapped out of it and needed to just be happy with that! Will loosing weight make me a happier person? Maybe but my weight is not the cause for all of my problems and loosing weight will not miraculously give me a perfect life. I am not even sure that a perfect life exists but I am sure that a happier life does so now I just have to work towards it.

Where the heck is my freakin’ inspiration??

2008-08-11T21:10:00.000-04:00

I need my inspiration back!! I feel like I am in an inspirational rut lately. No matter how hard I try to write, I feel like I just don’t have anything in me. And then when I finally do write something, it feels forced. I hate this feeling!! I guess when I take into consideration all of the crap that has happened in the last 3-6 months, I can understand it but that doesn’t make me like it any better. I feel like every time I turn around, there is something else creeping up on me that will knock me off of my balance and throw me to the floor. (And it is hard for this Fat Chick to get up once she falls on the floor! Probably amusing to everyone else around me but very complicated for me.) I don’t know where to turn from here. Is this what they call “writer’s block”? Well, whatever it is, I DON’T LIKE IT AT ALL!! How do I work thru this and get my MOJO back? Or have I just used up all of the inspiration that I had? That just can’t be the case, there has to be more in me! Maybe I am not drinking enough coffee? Or am I eating too much pizza? Maybe I am not getting enough fiber? I wonder if there is some kind of food or drink that will help to muster up some inspiration? I guess I need to do some searching on the internet to find out. Google, here I come!

To dress or not to dress.... that is the question

2008-08-08T17:42:00.001-04:00

You would think that I would stop shopping at Wally World (what I “lovingly” call Wal-Mart) but nope, not me! I guess I must like the amusement and abuse that it provides to me.
While shopping at Wally World yesterday I was RUDELY reminded that it is summertime. Now, don’t get me wrong, summertime is nice most of the time but it can be a little hot sometimes but that is what air conditioning is for, right?? What I don’t like about summertime is that there are some people that feel as though summertime is an excuse to forget to wear clothing when they leave their homes. And I am not just talking about teenagers or kids or model-types. Now, I am not sure why this is but it is an unfortunate part of reality.
I was shopping in Wally World, fully clothed I feel that I should add, and saw all of the normal people that you see during an adventure in Wal-Mart - Moms and kids, teenagers, grandma and grandpa, etc. As I was looking in the sheet sets, I came across someone who apparently felt that it was just too hot or it would be too much trouble to wear what most normal people would call “clothing”. I am all for dressing cool during these hot months but this was just a bit ridiculous in my opinion, not to mention out dated!! As I stood looking at sheet sets, a very friendly woman came around the corner and proceeded to talk to me about how expensive sheet sets are now-a-days. I turned to smile at Ms Friendly and I saw the most INVENTIVE and creative outfit I have seen in quite a long time. She had on what looked like a bright blue strapless tube mini dress, a bright yellow mesh tank top and a pair of white high top Converse tennis shoes with blue socks. Now, I am not talking jersey mesh like you see on a football or basketball jersey but that 80’s dancer mesh. She looked like she walked right out of a really bad 80’s movie or she had just stepped out of a time machine with Bill and Ted and had a not so excellent adventure in a shopping mall. She was not a small woman either. Not that this matters but a “woman of size” should wear more clothing because it is just inappropriate to show so much skin when there is so much skin to show. I guess it amazes me that a large woman would feel that this was an appropriate outfit to wear out in public. I don’t understand that at all. I want to cover as much of me as possible when I go out and spare the general public from the fear that my half naked body may cause them because God knows I don’t want to see it on someone else!
I guess that is just the opinion of this fat chick…. What do YOU wear on these hot summer days??

Down Home with the NASTY’S!

2008-07-28T10:01:00.000-04:00

As I have mentioned before, I am a total Food Network freak! No, it isn’t my porn but I do enjoy watching it! (Smart asses!)

Every Sunday morning, we watch all of the shows on FN while we have breakfast and read the paper. It has become a part of the “weekend tradition”. Well, we got distracted talking and one of our least favorites shows came on before we got a chance to change the channel – Down Home with The Neely’s. We have started to call the show DOWN HOME WITH THE NASTY’S because the Neely’s are perverts! He’s always trying to steal her “brown sugar” and she is always calling him “Daddy”! I am all for having some “romance” in the kitchen but maybe we should avoid foreplay in the kitchen while BBQing ribs and making potato salad on national television! Have a little respect for the general public! And every week it is the same thing – she bosses him around and he runs around the kitchen like a chicken with his head cut off all while playing GRAB ASS!! Is this really necessary? If people want to see this kind of “cooking”, they should put it on PAY PER VIEW and not on normal television. I think my dogs are beginning to have some issues – Zoe runs and hides under the bed wimpering when the show comes on and Jaz growls at the TV for the entire 30 minutes! Maybe they aren’t the only ones with issues because of the show - I feel dirty when I see brown sugar and Mom breaks out in hives when she sees BBQ sauce! This is just wrong! We can’t be the only ones that have noticed. And now they have a 2nd show, Road Tasted with The Neely’s. This is freakin’ great – now The Nasty’s are taking the show on the road. Watch out if they come to your town, hide your families!

The Food Network: Porn for Fat People?

2008-07-27T08:47:00.000-04:00

I know that Saturday Night Live is meant to be funny and most of the time, it is but I saw an older episode yesterday that had something in it that I thought was just ridiculous! They did a spoof ad for The Food Network and the tag line was THE FOOD NETWORK: PORN FOR FAT PEOPLE.

Since when? I don’t know about you but I don’t find myself getting “hot and bothered” when I watch an episode of 30 Minute Meals. The thought of watching Emeril cook a pot roast does not make me all weak in the knees nor does the sight of Bobby Flay grilling a steak does not make me swoon. Would a “Fat People” orgy be a group of overweight people all cooking and baking together in the nude? Or maybe Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart’s magazines are the new Playboy and Hustler magazines

Why is the assumption made that just because someone is overweight that they are obsessed with food? EVERYONE likes food! No matter what the Super Models say, they like it too! You know they meet at Taco Bell at 2am once a week and have a pig out session. But I digress…… I know some thin people who are pretty obsessed with food. I bet it can be a trigger for anorexia for some. But PORN for Fat People?? That is just ridiculous!

A Fat Chick Rant about Subway

2008-07-03T15:50:00.001-04:00

Fat Chick on a Rant!! All Beware!!
Am I the only one who is totally offended by the new Subway commercial? I hope not because if I am I may lose all hope in humanity!! And I am seriously considering boycotting Subway! Well….. gotta find another place that makes a good spicy Italian sub…..SCREW THE SUB, SUBWAY IS EVIL!!
Ok, the commercial starts with this skinny twerp of a guy in a fast food restaurant with a tray hands. The announcer comes on and asks if he knows what comes with his hamburger. Twerpy Jones says no so the announcer proceeds to advise him that his meal comes with fries and a drink but then proceeds to add a slew of additional things like a gym membership, oversized gym shorts, extra strength deodorant, a plane seat extender, an expensive gym membership, paranoia, a therapist and diet books along with a few other things.
Now, maybe I am just a little oversensitive because I AM A FAT CHICK but that is offensive to me. The extra strength deodorant is the one that really gets to me – implying that all heavy people smell bad. I’ll have you know that I smell like a freakin’ cinnamon roll right now….. that’s probably because I just ate one but THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!! I typically smell like a bed of roses or gardenias or baby powder. Since when do all heavy people have hygiene problems? I know some really thin people who have some real hygiene problems but you don’t see me making blanket statements in tv commercials regarding all thin people smelling badly, do you? I would find far more important things to make blanket statements about in TV commercials, like Pappa John’s Pizza is the best delivery pizza in America or Finding shoes on sale makes me smile!
And Paranoia? So now all heavy people are paranoid? I wonder why they would say that? Do other people say that? Did you hear that? Is someone talking about me? Is everyone talking about me? Sorry….. got a little paranoid there. Now, I know that I am sometimes self-conscious but this is not something that is directly associated with being heavy or overweight, it is associated with being HUMAN!
And then we have A THERAPIST? So now being heavy is cause for being in therapy? I am the first one to admit that many heavy people are in or should be in therapy but it has nothing to do with being heavy. Like talk therapy is going to help you loose weight. If that were the case, I’d be one skinny bitch right now! Last time I checked, talking is not considered a workout and a therapist is not a personal trainer. Personal trainers don’t get paid as much as therapists, or at least mine doesn’t.
I could sit here and go on and on but that would not be a good use of time and energy. And I have so many other things to rant about, I don’t want to waste my energy.
But there is one thing that the Big Wigs over at Subway should think about: Is it really a good idea to ostracize heavy people by making offensive commercials like this? I mean, who do they think are their more loyal customers? Just something that I would be thinking about if I were the Marketing Dept at Subway Headquarters. Maybe an apology is what they really should be thinking about giving to their loyal customers.

The Return of THE FAT CHICK!

2008-06-28T08:54:00.003-04:00

Been a while since I have written but this Fat Chicks little world has been in a tailspin for the last few weeks and out of control BUT it is time to take control back.
Sometimes things happen to us out of the blue, completely unexpected, causing us to have to reevaluate ourselves. This is where I have been lateley, a reevaluating fool but I feel like it is time to get back into the swing of things again. Too much at stake for me to stay in my little cardboard box and far to much in this crazy world we live in to comment on so I am breaking out my little "Blog notebook" and starting to write again. And maybe it is time to write that book that I seem to have inside me.

Wish me luck!

Been a while.....

2008-06-12T14:29:00.000-04:00

Been a while since I have graced you with my presence but things have taken a bit of a turn in this my little realm of reality. I have spent some time under a rock, then moved on to a small cardboard box, then into a shack of twigs and I have now moved back into my bedroom . I have my girls (Zoe and Jaz) to keep me company and I am slowly but surely making my way back into the real world again. It is taking some time but I am getting there. Who knows, maybe soon I will leave the house for more than groceries!

Since when is THAT tremendous??

2008-05-23T20:23:00.000-04:00

I was watching a nationally syndicated talk show a few mornings ago and became very frustrated with what I was watching. “What did you see Fat Chick? Please share.” I know that this is what all of you are saying to yourselves right now so I will share with you BUT ONLY YOU!!

I was watching and in the “sneak peek” they said that they would be talking so someone who lost a “tremendous” amount of weight. Well, this peaked my attention since I too want to loose a tremendous amount of weight. I sat, glued to the TV, anxiously awaiting the segment to begin and after 3 minutes of commercials about Fast Food restaurants, feminine hygiene products and Direct TV, it began. The host spoke of how this young woman had struggled with her weight all of her life and finally DID IT! As I heard this, I wanted to grab my pom-pom’s, leap into a spread eagle jump and give her a cheer. I was going to see a segment about someone like me and I really needed the encouragement to get my weight loss train a chuggin’ again. They showed a current picture and she was a young girl, maybe 25, wearing shorts and a T-shirt. As they talked, I couldn’t wait to see where she started and how much weight she had lost in total. As her “before” picture came onto my TV screen, all of my anticipation came to a screeching halt and I felt the need to scream at the top of my lungs! The picture on the screen was of the same girl with longer hair and about 40 lbs heavier than she currently was on the show. Since when is 40 llbs a TREMENDOUS amount of weight? I was expecting to see someone who had lost 150-200 lbs, maybe even 300 lbs but no, I see a woman who “waged a battle for 4 whole months” to loose 48 lbs! My right thigh probably weighs that much! Heck, 5 lbs of the weight was probably from getting her hair cut! And as she spoke about how she lost her WHOPPING 48 LB, I began to daydream about how awesome it would be to only have to loose 48 lbs. She cut her soda intake down to 2 cans a day, and drank diet soda instead of regular soda. She ate salads for lunch each day and had small meals for dinner so she didn’t have all that food in her stomach before going to bed. As she gave her tips and the host looked at her in awe, I began to get really frustrated - Don’t get me frustrated, you wouldn’t like me when I’m frustrated!! (Sorry, saw a trailer for the new hulk movie.) I watch these TV Talk shows and many of them do segments about weight loss but rarely do we see someone who has to loose more than 75-100 lbs. Now, that is a great thing but don’t my fellow fat chicks and I deserve to see someone who has really waged the BATTLE OF THE BULGE. Maybe 200-250 lbs lost? Let’s get nuts and make it 300 lbs! Then I start to wonder why we rarely see that and when we do, why is it normally a pre-recorded segment? Are they afraid that the overweight or formerly overweight person is going to eat everything in the Green Room and then go on a rampage thru the studio eating trinkets from people desks and rummaging thru purses and drawers for loose candy and snacks? Maybe they think the overweight or formerly overweight person will scare the studio audience. The children in the audience will scream for their parents to save them from the BIG FAT LADY who is sniffing their hair because they used Cotton Candy shampoo that morning. Could there be a fear that they will break the furniture and attack the host, grabbing them and climbing up into the rafters like King Kong did.
I guess I am also wondering why weight loss programs like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers use people who have lost 30-40 lbs in their commercials when using someone who has lost 210 lbs would really show the effectiveness of their programs but I guess they just wouldn’t be “pretty” enough. The only time that we see these people are when the talk shows want to talk about the dreaded weight loss surgeries – then they are more than happy to show the 400 lb woman who is having a majority of her stomach removed to loose 250 lbs along with the woman who now weighs 125 lbs but use to weigh 375 and had her stomach stapled or banded up so that her body wouldn’t and couldn’t absorb the nutrients needed so she could loose that 250 lbs. And do we often here about the problems that went along with the surgery? Nope!
I am a self proclaimed Fat Chick on a mission. What is my mission? To open the eyes of our Thincentric society to the fact that Fat People are not going to disappear just because you pick on them and call them names. We are flesh and blood, just like them. We have feelings, just like them. We too want to be happy and healthy, just like them. The difference is that we have to get there on a different road but our roads will cross sometimes and it would be so much easier to be able to just coexist without the boundaries of weight.
Come on people, can’t we all just get along!

The Pillow Top Tower

2008-05-17T00:33:00.001-04:00

Just in case you haven’t realized, I am a bit obsessive. I know, hard to believe but true.
About a year ago I decided that I was going to buy a new bed. I wanted to upgrade from the double that I hade been sleeping on for far too long to an “adult” bed – I wanted to get a queen size bed. I had just gotten new living room furniture a few months before so I decided that I would wait a while before getting the new bed but I started planning for the new bed. I looked at mattresses, bed frames, head and foot boards and anything else that I thought would be needed for a new bed. What I really started to get into was sheet sets. Oh, how I love shopping and looking at new sheet sets for my new queen bed. Imagining what the new sheets will look like on the bed. What blankets would match them. It was like a whole new adventure but some adventures are just too much. Let me explain what I mean…..
It all started with a Bed-in-a-Bag set that I found at Garden Ridge. I had decided a long time ago that I wanted to have a bedding set that had moons and stars on it. There were many that I found but only 1 really grabbed me. I searched for it, from store to store, on the internet, ebay and anywhere else that I thought I might find it but I had no luck so I had given up on it until that fateful day at Garden Ridge. I was shopping with my Mom and there were hundreds and hundreds of Bed-in-a-Bag sets along the back wall of the store that were on sale. I looked and looked but nothing until out of the corner of my eye I saw a set that was dark blue with gold designs on it. I pulled it from the stack and - OH JOY OF JOYS – it was the set that I had dreamed of having. And on top of my joy of simply finding it, IT WAS ON SALE!! $29.99 for the set!!!! I screamed at the top of my lungs, grabbed it, yanked it off of the shelf and hugged it like there was no tomorrow. My Mom came flying around the corner, probably thought I was being attacked by some stock clerks or deranged shoppers, to make sure I was OK. I looked at her with a small tear in the corner of my eye and told her that I found it, the bedspread of my dreams, it was here and it was MINE!! In that moment, if I could have handcuffed it to my arm, I would have just to be sure that I didn’t loose it but, instead, I put it in the basket and skipped away from the bedding department. (Take a minute and get the visual of a Fat Chick pushing a basket and skipping thru Garden Ridge like a 5 year old school girl as she giggled with delight. I bet you can’t decide if it is a scary thought or hysterical.)
Anyway, this one incident started a chain of events that had several of my friends and family thinking I was completely insane.
Over the next few months, whenever I went shopping I would make a B-line to the bedding department and look at sheet sets for a Queen bed. First, it was a light tan sheet set at Wal-Mart that was on sale for $11. You can’t pass that up, so I didn’t! Then it was a set blue paisley set that I just had to have because I love paisley and blue is the perfect color for a bedroom. I also found these amazingly soft microplush blankets on sale at Wal-Mart for $22. I couldn’t decide between the dark blue and the aqua blue so I didn’t and got both. Then it was a set of gray plaid flannel sheets that were on sale at Target for $19. Then there was a set of Sage green jersey sheets on sale at Target – I love Jersey Sheets, so comfy! Then there was the burgundy and blue stripped set that were priced wrong at Wal-Mart but they gave them to me at the wrong price since they made the mistake. That same day I found an amazing Bed-in-a-Bag set that was blue and green plaid, two of my favorite colors together – Had to have it!! Then there was the aqua paisley set that we found at Big Lots that were only $13 for a $70 set of sheets. Then there was the brown microplush blanket at Target that was on sale day after Thanksgiving that I got for Mom for Christmas, it was so cheap that I had to get one for me too but then I had to find a set of sheets that would match it. Then I found this great set of Jersey sheets at Target on sale, pink with butterflies, that I bought but then I remembered that I really don’t like pink so I gave them to my friend for Christmas – Merry Christmas Nursey! Then, while shopping for Christmas presents online, I found a set of leopard print Jersey sheets at Walmart.com that were only $15 – THEY MATCHED THE BROWN BLANKET!! Then there was the buy one get one sale at Kohl’s so I got a set with a Blue and Green design and a set with a Gray and Black design. At this point, I realized that I had all of these sheet sets for a queen size bed AND I WAS STILL SLEEPING IN A DOUBLE! I could open my own bedding store for Queen size beds but I didn’t have one of my own. What the heck was wrong with me? I decided that this was a good time to stop buying bedding, at least until I got my new queen size bed. I put all of the sheets and Bed-in-a-Bag sets in my living room closet (because my linen closet wasn’t big enough to hold them all and to hold the sheets I had for my double at the same time) and just stop. I have avoided bedding stores and departments for at least 4 or 5 months now. Been pretty proud of myself, too.
Until Now…… I finally got my Queen size bed this past weekend. You can only imagine the joy that I felt when I realized that I could FINALLY take all of those bedding sets out of my closet. If changing the bedding several times a day weren’t such a pain in the butt, I would do it!!
Now for my next bedding dilemma……
My step-dad set up the bed in my room and I was sooooo excited to see that nice, big bed there for me. I ran into my room and couldn’t wait to get into my new bed but there was a small problem – I NEEDED A LADDER TO GET INTO THE BED!! I got a great deal on a “luxury” pillow top mattress and box spring set that I couldn’t pass up. Little did I realize that “luxury” meant bed for the Jolly Green Giant! The first time I got into the bed, I pretty much had to run and jump into the bed. (Take a moment to get that visual……… now stop laughing!) After 3 or 4 attempts to get into the bed, I realized that if I swing one of my legs up onto the bed, I could pull myself up and get into bed somewhat comfortably. This was great until my 3am bathroom run. Forgetting that I was sleeping in my new Pillow Top tower, I fell out of bed and hit my head on my bedside table when I couldn’t reach the floor. Then came the task of getting back into bed after my bathroom run. I was pretty much still asleep and could not easily get back into bed so I kinda threw myself onto the bed and crawled on my elbows back up to my pillows and went back to sleep. The next morning was another challenge when I woke up. In my efforts to get out of bed safely, I slid off of the bed right onto the floor. At this point, I couldn’t help but wonder why the heck I wanted to get this new bed in the first place but later in the afternoon, I climbed up my ladder into my Pillow Top Tower and remembered why – this bed is so comfy, I just love it. I’ve gotten much better at getting in and out of bed. I haven’t fallen out of bed or fallen trying to get into bed in about 3 days.
And I think it is time for me to change sheets again. My dilemma now is deciding what sheets I will put on the bed next. Decisions, decisions.

This journey of mine.....

2008-05-14T19:34:00.000-04:00

In my journey in life to become a SHRINKING FAT CHICK, I have encountered so many obstacles that have made me either scream “I can’t take it anymore! Where is the pizza!” or “I don’t need the pizza. I’ll have a carrot instead.” I know, a carrot for a pizza is not realistic but I am trying to make the point that sometimes dieting is easy and sometimes dieting is the hardest thing to do in the world.
I sometimes wonder why some people are “graced” with being overweight and some are not. It can’t be all related to food and how much people eat because I know some heavy people that really don’t eat much at all and I know some Skinny Minnie’s who eat like horses! So, what is it? What is the determining factor? Are we put into a lottery at birth? Or maybe God (or whoever you believe in) sits with a big top hat with our names in it and draws names to determine who will be overweight and who will not? Does it have something to do with a past life? Maybe Karma? I just don’t understand at all and I really want to. I want to know WHY ME? Now, I have come to terms with my weight. I am what I am and if you don’t like it, screw you! But just because I have come to terms with it doesn’t mean that I like it, it just means that I have accepted that this is who I am right now. Can it change? Yes, but you can’t live your life looking to what could be, you have to live in the here and now and here and now, I’m FAT! (That’s right, I called myself fat!) What I want to know is why was it decided that I would have to be fat? Why couldn’t I be one of those girls that is 5ft 8in tall, perfect body and hair, and can eat any and everything she wants to without gaining an ounce? Why did it have to be me to have to deal with all of the crap that goes along with being overweight through my childhood, teen years and adulthood? There are times when I feel like there is this whole part of life that I have missed out on because of my weight, some by my choice and some not. How would my life had been different if I had been a size 8 rather than 24+? Who knows but sometimes I can’t help but wonder. One thing I do know is that I wouldn’t have so many purses and I would have a heck of a lot more clothes!
As weird as this may sound, sometimes the idea of really loosing weight scares me. I have been overweight as far back as I can remember, sometimes heavier than other times but always heavy. They say that the biggest fear that a person can have is the fear of the unknown – well, this is my unknown. I don’t know what it is like to be thin. I want to know, trust me, but it may make me a raging lunatic or a tramp or an idiot or who knows what. I’ve seen it happen in friends who have lost a lot of weight. They loose their mind and become a different person. They don’t see it but everyone around them does. I like the person that I am now so I don’t want to loose that but I want being thin to no longer be my unknown!
So, how do I make it happen? Where is the magic pill that I can take to make me not want to eat anymore? What is the magic workout that is easy and fun? Where is the magic elixir that I can drink to make all of the fat melt away? There is always surgery but do I really want to take that route. Heck, surgery is a whole other blog. How do I make it easier than it is now? I don’t know and I don’t think anyone else knows either. I have often heard that people loose the weight when they are ready to loose the weight. I feel like I am ready so why isn’t the weight coming off? What have I been doing wrong? I’ll probably never know but I do know this – I want to loose this weight and I will not given up on loosing it because when I give up, the weight has won and that is a defeat that I just can’t accept so I am putting on my armor and preparing for the battle of a lifetime or maybe I should say the battle for my life.

To fake or not to fake

2008-05-09T19:49:00.001-04:00

I don’t know about you but I am always hoping and praying that some magic drug will miraculously come into existence that will help me loose weight or make the idea of eating so disgusting to me that I will stop eating all together. I know, not the smartest way to deal with wanting to loose weight but I am only human!!
Anyhoo, I have a close friend who, last year, was having some issues. She did the smart thing and went to the Doctor for some help and was prescribed Adderal. It did wonders for her in so many ways – one of which was it caused her to loose most of her appetite and loose some weight. I think she has lost about 35-40 lbs – the supportive friend says “Good for you!!” while my inner fat chick says “You suck!”
As she has told me about her newfound weight loss, all I can think about is what symptoms do I have to fake to get that pill? Do I have to twitch uncontrollably? Yell obscenities at strangers? Throw temper-tantrums for no reason? Cry on queue? Whatever it is, I am sure I can do it. I was in the drama club in school and did all kinds of church plays growing up so this should be a breeze. OK, lets see – Adderall is normally prescribed for ADHD or Narcolepsy. So, I just need to fake the symptoms of one of these 2 conditions. Heck, if I want to be sure to get it, maybe I should fake symptoms for both!
When I go in to talk to the Dr, I can get distracted easily. Then, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Then, once I have faked sleeping for a few minutes, I can wake up with a jolt and yell “Look at the pretty lights!” then get up and start cleaning the Dr’s desk, dancing the cha cha while going off on tangents when I answer his questions. After a few minutes of that I can collapse and fall asleep again. I think the Dr will buy it, don’t you? I wonder how long I will have to keep it up? It seems like it could get exhausting to keep it going for too long. I mean with all of the dancing, cleaning, collapsing and random spurts of craziness. On top of the weight I would loose from taking the pills, I would be getting quite a workout. This plan has benefits all around!

Am I a bad person?

2008-05-07T18:46:00.000-04:00

I am beginning to wonder if I am a bad person? Is it wrong of me to want to beat up a friend because she lost a few pounds? Let me explain
I was sitting at work earlier today, minding my own business, when a friend called me. As most people do when the phone rings, I answered it and began talking to my friend. We had the normal “How was work? Any plans for tonight?” conversation when she proceeded to tell me about going out to dinner with another friend, eating like a pig and drinking like a fish. She then proceeds to tell me that she went to her weekly WW meeting today and was scared to get on the scale because of everything that she ate and drank last night. I gave her the supportive friend speech and told her that it isn’t the end of the world, tomorrow is a new day, etc. She laughs and said “Well, I was shocked when I actually lost weight, 2 pounds!” The supportive friend said “Well, good for you! That’s great!” But my inner Fat Chick wanted to smack her, shove a pack of HoHo’s in her mouth and say “Oh, so you are bragging now? You can loose weight without trying and I can’t even get my stupid scale to weigh me! You suck! I hate you! Go away now!” Of course, I didn’t say any of these things but I sure did want to! She continued on about how she was so shocked and really excited about it and as my eyes rolled back in my head, I had a little momentary daydream about loading her up with water and bricks in her pants and making her weigh herself again…… I’d like to see her brag about loosing weight then! I know that I shouldn’t feel like that but I can’t help it! Especially since I am having such a hard time! Heck, lately I get excited when I take my shoes off because it means I have probably lost ½ pound! Do you think if I weighed on my tippy toes I would loose anything? Probably not but I gotta look for every angle I can to boost my “Weight Loss Morale” because Hortense surely isn’t helping. Now, my friend really isn’t that much overweight so the concept of her loosing anything makes me want to scream, run to the fridge and have a private moment with a can of whipped cream, a block of sharp cheddar and the left over pasta form my binge session the other night….. not all together – well, maybe the cheddar and the pasta, the whipped cream can be dessert. Well, anyhoo – I am sure that it was not her intent to brag or put into a Fat Chick Tail Spin but I can’t help how I feel about it. And be proud of me because I haven’t called her and asked her to go out to dinner with me to like Olive Garden or some other place where everything on the menu will make you gain 3 pounds – baby steps, baby steps.

Why??

2008-05-03T21:21:00.001-04:00

There are times when I think that I must be an absolute lunatic! I’m talking an absolute full blown whack job!! I am beginning to really wonder why I do some of the insane things that I do. I mean, am I possessed by Fatty McGee or something?
I am sure you are thinking “Hey Fat Chick, what are you talking about? You are sounding a little crazy right now.” Well, let me explain where my insanity is coming from……
Ya see, it all started a few nights ago while I was at work. I hadn’t really eaten all day and was starting to get hungry. It was close to closing time for me so I was trying to think of what I wanted to eat for dinner. Salad? How boring! Chicken breast? How plain. Fish? I am no good at cooking fish. Whatever shall a Fat Chick eat for dinner? Well, I got an email from Pizza Hut about their new pastas and thought “YUM! That looks really good. Maybe I will get that for dinner!” Decision made! I started to finish up a few things before I headed out of the office and decided to go for a quick romp through SparkLand. As I traipsed thru a few message boards, I realized that getting this stupid pasta was not the right thing to do for dinner! How the hell am I suppose to loose weight when I am eating all of the things that I know I shouldn’t eat? And then, I hear it…. The voice in the back of my brain that tells me all of the reasons why it is OK to get the pasta. I think I will call that voice Fatty McGee now. I hear Fatty say “Now Fat Chick, you have been a good girl this week and you deserve a treat!” or “What is it gonna hurt to have this pasta tonight? It will be a one time thing” And here is where the inner battle begins. I start thinking to myself “Have I been a good girl this week? It could be the last time for a while. It’s not good to deprive yourself when trying to loose weight so maybe it’s not that bad of an idea.” Well, there ya’ go! Decision made again – Pasta it is! The battle isn’t over yet, not by a long shot but for now, Fatty is quiet. I get back to work so that I can go home and order my dinner. I run to the “Little Girl’s” room and as I step in front of that HUGE mirror, I get a glance of myself and depression sets in because I don’t like what I see. I look like Jaba the Hut!! I let out a quick scream and run into a stall so that I can close the door and try to erase the vision from my mind bny thinking of happy things – bunnies, puppies, rainbows, pizza, cheesecake - but just as I cleanse my thoughts, I have to leave the stall which means I have to see Jaba again on my way out of the bathroom. As I walk back to my desk, I start thinking about wanting to get out of the office as quickly as possible because Jaba has scared me and if I can get away quickly maybe Jaba will leave me alone. As I sit down, Fatty comes back and proceeds to tell me how that pasta will make me feel better since I am feeling all scared and emotional right now. Or maybe good old pizza will do the trick. Fatty is like a freakin’ pusher – she sits on my shoulder like one of those little demons that you see in cartoons or the movies that tell you all of the wrong things to do. And you will never believe what Miss Fatty McGee is wearing - a hot pink muumuu with turquoise and yellow flowers! Damn catalogs! And apparently, I am a junky because I fall right into her trap. I grab my stuff and run out of the office like a bat out of hell….. OK, maybe “run” isn’t the right way to say it, I strolled briskly out of the office, got in my car and sped out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell – there was a bat in there somewhere - because Jaba may be big but I am sure can move fast when properly motivated! As I drive home, Fatty and I have a chat about the pro’s and con’s of getting pasta – Pro, it tastes yummy! Con, it tastes so yummy that I will eat too much of it. Well, that about sums it up. Even though I know that Fatty is evil and horribly dressed, I call Pizza Hut and order the stupid pasta. Why? Because I am INSANE! Because I am a glutton for punishment! Because I don’t seem to know what it good for me. After I eat far too much and feel so stuffed that I feel like I will explode, I ask myself why I did this. Why did I spend that money? Why did I eat so much? Why do I do these things even though I know that they are the wrong thing to do? I can’t explain it but I wish that I could. I wish I could flip the switch that makes me do these things. I may enjoy it in the moment but after that moment is gone, I hate myself. I hate myself because I know better so I spend some time beating myself up for being an idiot. And with every step I take for the rest of that night I am reminded why I shouldn’t do these things and I say that I will never do it again….. until I do and then it starts all over again. It’s a vicious cycle and there has to be an end to it but where? When? I may never know but, for some reason, I never give up the dream of loosing weight.

you called me WHAT?

2008-05-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

I was talking to someone at work recently about being “heavy” and we somehow got onto the various different terms that are used to describe someone that is overweight – Fat, heavy, Overweight, big, obese……. MORBIDLY OBESE….. I have heard this term over and over again but for some reason it really bothered me. Obese sounds bad enough but to add MORBIDLY to it is like saying “not only are you fat but YOU GONNA DIE!” Now, I completely understand that being overweight has its health risks, (They don’t call me THE FAT CHICK for nothing, ya’ know.) but is it really necessary to call us DEADLY FAT? That is a literal translation! We live in an intelligent society so I am sure that we could come up with better terms than Morbidly Obese – wait a minute, nevermind. This is the same society that has young girls and women believing that the only way to be beautiful is to be 5ft 10in , 105 lbs, blonde hair and blue eyed. Now that is a crock of crap if I ever heard one! I think we (and by we I mean us MORBIDLY OBESE) should come up with some alternative terms to use to refer to ourselves. Who better to come up with these terms? Some 5’10”, blonde haired, blue eyed, 115 lb model type – I THINK NOT!!

I am just fine with Fat but I know that some are not and that is OK. So, what shall we call ourselves? How about FLUFFY? We aren’t fat, we’re fluffy! That could be fun!
What about Plump? I’ve used that in the past and I like it. Maybe overstuffed? Like an overstuffed teddy bear. I am sure that there are many, many more terms that we can use to describe us

There are so many other terms that sound so much better…. Like Voluptuous (look at the definition to that one - http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=voluptuous ) or Zaftig (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/zaftig ). These are great examples of some wonderful ways to refer to an “overweight” woman!

Justin Timberlake....... Superhero??

2008-04-26T13:21:00.000-04:00

First, Justin brings Sexy back. And boy are we lucky he did! Now he has to save the world in 4 minutes? At least he has help this time – Madonna and Timbaland . And how will Madonna and Timbaland help? They are both pretty powerful in the music world but in saving the entire world? Do they really have what it takes? I wonder if they will wear superhero costumes? If so, Justin should wear blue and Madonna should wear Jade green ….. but what about Timbaland?? Maybe a black mask and cape with a pair of , of course, Timberlands. And how is dancing going to save the world? What the heck happened? Was the world attacked by a band of hip-hop crazed dancing aliens? Did they come to earth in a bunch of disco balls? Did they start hypnotizing us with strobe lights and dance beats and make us do unspeakable things? Am I under there control now? I don’t think so, I feel fine. Anyway, How does Justin get himself into these situations? I mean, he is very talented but a Superhero, I don’t know about all that. I have to wonder, does Timbaland think he is helping by repeating that they are out of time and only have 4 minutes over and over and over and over again. And when does the 4 minutes begin?
If anyone can save us, Justin Timberlake is the man for the job!!

What am I? Used Coffee Grounds?

2008-04-24T18:48:00.000-04:00

I did something last week that I normally don’t do – I actually left work in the middle of my day to run an errand. I never leave work because once I leave, I don’t want to go back. Why put myself through that? I had to run to the bank so I decided to just do it - CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED! My little errand also gave me the chance to go to Starbucks for some “liquid love” – an iced vanilla caramel latte. I decided to go inside because I wanted to get some coffee beans for the Moms. As I walked into the store, I got my normal greeting from the barista “Welcome to Starbucks – Can we help you find anything?” I looked around to see if I saw a familiar face, my barista crush Nick, but I didn’t see him so I figured he wasn’t working and went about my search for Mom’s decaf. As usual, I was completely distracted by the coffee cups and tumblers and as I sat at a table looking at a few cups, I heard someone from behind me and ask how I was doing. As I turned I saw Nick walking towards me, I laughed (as my little heart fluttered) and asked how he was doing. He sat at the table with me and we talked for a few minutes. Nothing big, just small talk and chit chat. (No, we aren’t planning a wedding or naming kids). As we talked, a Tiny Tammy came into the store, walked to the counter and asked if Nick was there. I pointed in her direction and said “Looks like you have a fan, better not keep her waiting.” He laughed and told me that he was on a break and someone else could help her. We continued talking and Tiny Tammy came over to the table, stood between Nick and I and began talking to him. Tiny Tammy acted as if I didn’t exist, like it was not possible for Nick, the cute Barista, to actually want to have a conversation with a fat chick! Oh no, can’t have an attractive guy talking to someone who was not 5”6’, 110 lbs, blonde hair and blue eyed – that would be just uncivilized! I went back to looking at the coffee cups that I had at the table with me when Nick looked past Tiny Tammy and asked if I could excuse him for a minute. I smiled and said “sure, no problem” and minded my own business again. I guess all the world would be made right again, the cute Barista walks into the sunset with the boney bimbo. About a minute later, I heard Nick tell Tammy that one of the girls behind the counter would be happy to help her, he was on a break and chatting with a friend. I heard this and figured that one of the people who just walked in was a friend of his but, to my surprise; Nick came back to the table and sat with me again. Could I be that friend that he spoke of?? Me? Be still my beating heart… He apologized for the interruption, explaining that the Bimbo comes in a few times a week and throws herself at him (his words, not mine) but he had no interest in her kind. Hmmmmm, no interest in a young, attractive woman? What was his interest? Old, hideous sea hags? Or maybe hairy, smelly trolls? But a FAT CHICK?? It couldn’t be!! We chatted for another 15-20 minutes and then I had to get back to the office – Darn this adulthood and all of its responsibilities!! He took the coffee beans for the Moms and ground them for me. When he rang up my total, it seemed low – AGAIN! What a nice guy, he only charged me for a ½ pound but I got a full pound. When I went by Mom’s a day or 2 later to give her the coffee, it was hard to part with it but I did! I didn’t like it but I did it.

Dinner and the Hyena’s

2008-04-19T14:24:00.000-04:00

I went to dinner Thursday night with a friend. We went to our usual place for some Margarita’s, “Crack Salsa” and girl talk. My friend got there a few minutes before I did and grabbed a table in the bar area. When I got to the table, I sat down and we did the typical girly catch-up – “how have you been?”, “How’s the family?”, etc.
As we were starting to really talk, I heard these loud screeches and howls coming from the table just around the corner from us. I glance over and there are these 3 women, who had to be in at least their late 20’s but I am thinking early 30’s, all hovering over the cell phone of one and all laughing and cackling like pre-teen girls talking to a boy for the first time. Once they quieted down, I thought it would be just a one time thing but Boy was I wrong! Throughout our dinner and after dinner talking, these women hooped and hollered constantly…. And they weren’t always talking to each other!!! At one point, one was on her cell phone yelling at someone about cleaning dishes while the other 2 were very loudly talking about water…..YES! WATER!! Like the stuff that comes out of the tap in your kitchen. Can someone please explain to me how water is that interesting? No one? Anybody? Well, I guess it isn’t but these 2 certainly thought it was fascinating! We could not go 5 minutes without the HappyTime Triplets going into very loud hysterics about nose hairs or ear wax or hair products! These women were making me crazy!! I am all about enjoying your time out with friends, laughing and talking with each other but this was absolutely ridiculous! They placed their order after making the waitress come back to their table 4 times – I guess because their fascinating conversation about ear wax could not be interrupted by the ordering of dinner….IN A FREAKIN’ RESTAURANT of all places!! I mean what was that silly waitress thinking! And when they finally did order, the waitress needed a PhD in Decryption & Cryptography to understand what they wanted. One of them actually told the waitress that she wanted a cheeseburger but she didn’t want a full slice of cheese, she wanted the slice of cheese cut into strips before being put on her burger and it could not touch the tomatoes. Another wanted a salad but wanted the lettuce and the toppings on separate plates – WHY?? This makes no sense to me at all but it was what do I know? Maybe that’s how they do it in Crazy Town. And it was like once they started ordering and asking for things, they didn’t stop! Each time the poor waitress would walk by, they wanted something else – water, soda, fries, coffee, napkins, salt packets (nope, not a salt shaker, PACKETS!), among a bizarre assortment of other items that just didn’t seem normal or right! Between the “prank” phone calls they seemed to be making and the piercing hyena laughter, my friend and I were barely able to enjoy our dinner much less have a conversation. And on top of them being just plain obnoxious, THEY KEPT STARING AT US! Was our polite manner offending them? Was my make-up looking scary? Did my friend have eyeballs in the back of her head? And they were not trying to hide that they were staring at us. After a little while, I got a little creeped out by it.
And so much for hoping that they would leave before us and give us a little bit of peace because that just wasn’t happening! They must have closed the place down because we left and went and sat in my car and talked for a while and never saw them come out! That Poor Waitress! Better her than me!
Oh well, enough of this rant. I think I have a few more in me so STAY TUNED!!

Could I have writers block??

2008-04-17T20:19:00.002-04:00

I have been having a really hard time writing lately. Actually, what I should say is that I am having a hard time completing anything lately. I sit down and start something and about 2 paragraphs in, I get distracted or just loose steam. It is probably stress that has me all kerflubbered and I don't like it one bit!! I have things that I want to write about but I am just not feeling it when I sit down to write. Maybe tonight when I get home, I will grab my glasses that make me look all smart and stuff and sit in front of my laptop. Maybe the glasses will give me inspiration....... either that or a headache. I'll let you know which one.

I tried, Damn it!!

2008-04-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

My scales conspiracy against me continues!! What the heck have I done to that stupid scale to make it want to make me so darn miserable? I thought I was going to have a freakin’ nervous breakdown this morning while attempting (and I stress attempting) to weigh myself this morning.
So, I go into my kitchen to weigh myself (yes, I have decided that my kitchen is the best place to weigh myself – seems logical to me…. Weigh, get depressed, take cheese from fridge and eat….. it made sense at the time!). I took the scale from the closet where it has been locked away and placed it on the floor between my fridge (easy access to food) and my dish washer (gotta clean the plate that I ate the food from) and tapped it like the instructions say. She chimes at me “Hello”, waits a few seconds and says “I’m ready”. To me that means she is ready for me to stand on her so she can yell to the universe how much I weigh. I took a deep breath (like that was going to make me loose 20 lbs) and step on Hortense – I’ve name the scale Hortense, I’ll explain why later. I wait….. and wait…. and wait….. and wait…. and after about 3 minutes, Hortense yells “Goodbye”. What?? Why?? She is trying to torture me. So I step off of Hortense, sit down on a dining room chair that I have brought into the kitchen, and yell a few choice words at her before explaining to her that I am in charge here and she needs to do what I want. I start the process all over again….. tap, “Hello…… I’m ready”, step on scale, wait….. wait…..wait….wait… now about 2 minutes went by and Hortense has said nothing, NOT A THING!! I hate her! I know she was sitting there laughing at me in her stupid computer voice but would she tell me how much I weigh……NO!! So I step off and she tells me Goodbye. I sit down again and put my head down on my stove (it wasn’t on so I was good) in frustration. I decided that maybe I needed to move Hortense so I picked her up and moved her about 3 feet further into the kitchen. I thought maybe she was intimidated my the fridge knowing that I love the fridge because it gives me goodies and snacks and I hate her because she yells at me and tells me how fat I am. I placed Hortense in front of the sink and tapped her to get her started. When she said hello, I responded very nicely in my calmest of voices “Hello Dear, how are you?” to which she responded “I’m ready”. I explained to her that it was important that I get my current weight from her and how appreciative I would be when she gave it to me before stepping on her. I waited a few moments but Hortense stayed quiet. I waited a few more and Hortense finally chirped “GOODBYE”. At this point, I am ready to throw Hortense in the microwave and giggle & clap as she explodes from the radiation, but I didn’t. Instead, I screamed at her “What is wrong with you? What have I done to deserve this treatment from you? I AM IN CHARGE HERE SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY WEIGHT!! If you don’t, I am taking your batteries. Try talking and torturing me without them!!“ I gave Hortense the evil eye and pointed my finger and her and let her know that this was her last chance and I was not kidding! I gave her the tap, waited and as soon as she said she was ready I stepped on her. I stood as still as possible and waited to hear her voice scream at me that I have gained 5 lbs or lost 2 lbs, anything would have made me happy, anything except goodbye. As I waited, I watched the clock on my microwave and after 3 minutes of waiting, I had had it with Hortense!! I sat down on my chair, picked her up and said “I warned you!!” I flipped her over, opened the battery compartment and took the batteries out!! Her torturing days are done, for a while anyway.

I'm gonna do it......

2008-04-11T08:47:00.000-04:00

I have been putting it off for a long time. I’ve gone to extremes so that I would not have to do it but it’s time. I had a nightmare about it last night – there was screaming and crying and hiding, not to mention waking up in a cold sweat.

I’m going to weigh myself this morning!!

There, I said it! Now, off I go…….

Catalogs and Magazines and clothes, Oh My!

2008-04-10T18:47:00.000-04:00

I was fortunate enough to get to work this weekend (I know, your jealous) so I checked my mailbox on my way to work thinking it would give me something to do when I got bored, which was inevitable. Just like everyone else, I got some bills, junk mail and a few catalogs so I would have at least an hour or so of amusement while at work. I put all of the mail in a bag and continued on my drive to the office, making a pit stop at Starbucks for my morning coffee….. I’m addicted if you haven’t figured it out yet! When I got to work, I checked my work email, ran my reports, logged into SP and waited for delirium to set in, which it did after about 3 hours. As I sat at my desk counting the specks on the ceiling to pass the time, I remembered that I had a few catalogs so I decided to look at them in hopes of maybe finding some spring/summer clothes. This Fat Chick tries to look as cute as possible! As I perused the pages of a catalog that is marketed to the “Plus Size” or “Full Figured” woman, I noticed something – Not one of the models used in this catalog was any bigger than a size 8! I decided to go to another catalog and saw the same thing! Now, I am no idiot so this was something that I had noticed previously but it was really bothering me on this day. I don’t know about you but the proportions and dimensions of my body are oh so very different from that of the size 6 model who was modeling the “lovely” magenta and turquoise flowered moo-moo. And let’s not forget the very attractive black tent dress with yellow, orange and navy blue very large geometric designs being modeled by a size 8 model. It also started to really aggravate me that so much of the clothing in this particular catalog was covered in brightly colored flowers or geometric shapes. I don’t know about you but when I go out, I want my clothing to grab the attention of everyone in a 10 mile radius and say “Hey!! I’m a heffer and I want the world to know it!” before blinding them! Yep! That’s how I roll!! At this, I decided to move on to a different catalog and saw much of the same – size 6 and 8 models wearing clown outfits that the catalog companies call clothing for us Pleasantly Plump women. On to catalog #3 – this one was a little better, at least the clothes didn’t look like it came from the same design team that gave us the costumes for Ringling Brothers but the models were still no bigger than a size 8. Showing us “Big Girl” clothes on a “little girl” can be very misleading – the clothes is just not going to look the same on a size 26 frame as it looks on a size 6 frame. Tiny Tina looks great in the lace trimmed leggings and trapeze top but that same outfit on Plump Patty just doesn’t look the same. How are we suppose to know how clothing will look on our “full-figured” frame when we are seeing the clothes on toothpicks in the catalogs and magazines? And we wonder why we have so many women and girls starving themselves to look like these models. Maybe I am expecting too much from our thin-centric society.

Dear Lord, Please don’t make me kill anyone……

2008-04-04T18:28:00.001-04:00

I work in an office full of women (there are a few men… just a few). I know, sounds like a party and sometimes it is but there are times when it is not. Today happens to be one of those days. Shall I share with you why? Like it or not, I am!

In any environment where there are a lot of women, there is a lot of dieting going on. Well, a group of us (about 3 or 4) were chatting about what diet program we are using and good websites to use, etc. We were congregated around someone’s desk that was just off of a walkway so there were people walking by every now and then but we were really paying them no mind. We all have some weight to loose and one has actually lost quite a bit of weight, 67 lbs in the last year. As we were chatting, minding our own business, an office SUZY SKINNYPANTS came walking by with someone that we normally chat with so they stopped by to chat. Our conversation was about how sometimes it is hard to eat just one of so many things, like cookies, potato chips, tacos, etc. Miss Suzy Skinnypants was being rather quiet but then for some ungodly reason she decided to chime in “It doesn’t seem hard to me, you just stop! That isn’t that hard.” The group got very quiet and we all stared at her like she had 3 heads…… and I wanted to shove a pizza in each one! Our friend (we’ll call her Jane) that she was with turned several shades of red in embarrassment and nudged Skinny Minnie who blurted “What did I do?” One of the original group (We’ll call her Mary) looked at Suzy and said “Obviously, you have never had a weight problem in your life so you have no real understanding of what we are talking about.” I was very proud of Mary for being so politically correct because that is so not what I wanted to do. My inner Fat Chick wanted to grab her by her skinny little neck and force feed a cheesecake down her throat while singing “On the Good Ship Lollipop” while my fellow “Weight Challenged” co-workers did River Dance in the background and pelted her with Girl Scout cookies. In my most humble opinion, there is nothing worse than getting diet or weight loss advice from someone who weighs less than my right thigh! I mean, little Miss Suzy Skinnypants biggest issue with food is probably what toy to get with her HappyMeal! Well, Suzy had no idea what pile of poop she had just stepped in because the remaining women proceeded to “explain” to her what it is really like to be overweight. One women told her about how most overweight people are emotional eaters while another explained how it isn’t always how much you eat but what you eat. Miss Suzy stared back at us like we were dancing porkchops and blessed us with the following wisdom: “what the heck does emotional eating mean? You eat when you are hungry, end of story!” At this little “gem” of wisdom, I politely smiled and Miss Suzy and asked her if she had somewhere else she could go because I was not feeling a need to be nice to her anymore. What I should have said was that she had better leave before I get emotional, mistake her for a French fry, pour ketchup on her and eat her skinny butt!! That could have been her lesson in emotional eating!! Jane quickly told Miss Suzy that they were going to be late getting back from lunch if they didn’t get back to their desks so they left. The remaining of us stood there in a state of minor shock while we recovered from the incident. I try to be nice to everyone but there are times when all I can do is hope that my Evil Fat Chick Twin doesn’t come out and make me hurt anyone.

No one said it would be easy

2008-04-03T14:52:00.000-04:00

Now I know that this dieting/weight loss thing would not be easy but GIVE ME A FREAKIN’ BREAK! Why is it that when I am not dieting, I will have almost no cravings at all but when I am dieting, I want everything imaginable! The food calls me – not on my cell or anything (jeesh, that would be crazy). Sometimes it yells at me as I drive by restaurants. Take this morning for example: I drive by a Taco Bell on my way to work each morning. Taco Bell isn’t exactly by favorite place but sometimes it hits the spot! Just before I got to the light where the Taco Bell is, I could hear a Cheesy Beefy Melt calling me in its little Mexican accent…. “hey Fat Chick…. It’s me, Cheesy Beefy Melt…. Come on thru the drive thru and get me so I can go to work with you and keep you company. I’ll make myself look all pretty for you – extra cheese and sour cream. Come and get me” Before I saw that big bell in the sky, there was no thought of any food much less a cheesy beef melt but once I got within hearing distance, he was all over me. As I sat at the light, I turned up the stereo in my car but that just made him yell louder and get a few friends to join. He called Nachos Bel Grande and Steak Quesadilla so I had all 3 of them calling me, like little Mexican sirens of the sea and it was hard for me to resist. Speaking of Sirens, the Starbucks Siren got in on the action to since Starbucks is right next to Taco Bell, and we all know how much I love me some Starbucks. “Oh Fat Chick, how I love you and wish to make you smile with the yummy goodness of my White Chocolate Mocha with Caramel added” was her cry and it was getting harder to resist so I turned the stereo up really loud, opened the sunroof, rolled down the windows and turned on the air conditioner. I wanted everything imaginable that could distract me from the call of the food! I beat on my steering wheel to the beat of the music while I sang along with Madonna and Justin. The people in the cars around me were probably thinking I was a lunatic but I didn’t care, I needed to distract myself from the Call of the Food! I felt this huge sense of relief when I saw the red light turn green, I thought there was freedom in sight but that is when the little NY style pizza joint came into view – DAMN IT ALL!! Will the torture ever end? As I made the turn, I heard that heavy Brooklyn accent call me “Yo Fat Chick, I got some cheesy pepperoni over here just waitin’ for ya. And my cousin Manicotti says hello and wants you to get over here too! Diet? Forget about it, you needs some good ol’ pizza and pasta to make everything A-OK. And Mama is making some cannoli for you too. Come on……” Now, how the heck am I suppose to be a Good Girl in the Diet World when I have food calling me left and right? This is no easy task but I made it past the Starbucks and Taco Bell without incident. I felt like stopping the car, jumping out and doing that thumbs in the ears and tongue sticking out thing that kids do when they are picking on each other and yelling “Nanny Nanny BooBoo, you didn’t get me” but I didn’t because I thought they would come running after me and shove themselves in my mouth before I could stop them! Not to mention that I was not completely past the pizza joint and they could get me if I did that – and I think they are hooked up with the Food Mafia or something so I don’t want to take any chances. Knowing that if I could only hang on for about 2 minutes I would be OK, I took a firm grip of my steering wheel and hit the gas! As I passed the pizza joint, I was oh so very tempted to let my little birdies fly thru my sun roof – if you don’t know what birdies, look at your hands J. But I knew better – remember THE FOOD MAFIA!! Well, you will be happy to know that I made it to work with no problems, no Taco Bell, Starbucks or Pizza in my hands as I walked thru the door. Of course, now I am starving but I will have a salad in a little while. Maybe I can convince myself that the salad is a slice of pizza.

Well, THANK GOD FOR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!

2008-03-29T12:10:00.000-04:00

I was chatting with a friend this morning while I was driving to work this morning and listening to some dance music to wake me since I only had about 3 hours of sleep last night. It was just a mix cd of various dance mixes that I have – a little Justin, a little Madonna, a little Britney, a little Janet, you get my drift. As I was driving, SEXYBACK by Justin Timberlake came on (the mix with Missy Elliott – really good!). As Justin started singing (I’m bringing Sexyback….), I started singing along too. My friend kinda laughed at me and said that these were some odd lyrics and this made me start thinking…….. (I know, you all get scared when I say that)…………

Where exactly had Sexy gone that Justin needed to bring it back? I mean, was Sexy lost? Had Sexy run away? And did Justin have to search Sexy out or did he know where Sexy was? Why did Sexy feel the need to leave in the first place? Was it just too much pressure to be Sexy? Did Sexy come back willingly or did it kick and scream? And how does one go about FINDING Sexy? Do you put an ad in the paper? Maybe Craig’s List? Do you hire a private investigator?
Or maybe we have all been duped and Justin didn’t bring the REAL Sexy back! What if Justin couldn’t find Sexy and just replaced it with a new Sexy. How does one REPLACE Sexy? Did he have a casting call? What criteria were used to find a new Sexy?
But then I started thinking about what would have happened if Sexy hadn’t come back. What would a world without Sexy be like? Would the likes of Brad Pitt and Patrick Dempsey be? Or Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron? Just OK or maybe average? Would we have to some up with something else to replace Sexy? That would all just be too complicated so Thank God for Justin Timberlake! Without him, there would be no Sexy and I don’t think anyone wants that!

Am I wrong?

2008-03-28T19:18:00.001-04:00

Am I wrong to want to beat up a 22 year old size 2 when I overhear her in the bathroom talking about how her weight has just gotten out of control? I mean, she is sooooo right! How can she stand herself? Weighing all of 110 lbs soaking weight……. Holding a bag of rocks…….. Wearing a hard hat and steel toe boots! It is just out of control! The 3 pounds she gained in the last month is just too much to take. No more food for her! There will be only bread, water and the occasional stalk of broccoli for her but no butter or salt on that broccoli. And the bread has to be whole wheat bread and no butter on that either! And maybe once a week, she can have a can of caffeine free Diet Coke but NO ICE….. maybe that is too much - OK, she can have ice but only 5 cubes. And there will be no driving for little Miss Wendy the Waif, she must walk to get everywhere so she can get her exercise and drop that weight! I mean REALLY!!

Sometimes, going to the bathroom at the office is enough to drive this Fat Chick insane! Like I’m not crazy enough!

Overweight...... Fat...... whatever!

2008-03-27T17:05:00.001-04:00

I was exchanging emails with a new SP (SparkPeople) “Done Sistah” and we had an interesting exchange. I have always felt this way but had not had anyone share my “twisted” view. I am sure that we can’t be the only ones….. and if we are, it is time to open some eyes to The Fat Chick’s way of thinking!

I’ve noticed that sometimes people will refer to me as “overweight” and not “fat” as though “fat” is a dirty word. Like calling me fat is going to cause me to run to my room, slam my door and cry myself to sleep but saying I’m overweight will make me giggle with glee!
Or, better yet, like I don’t realize I’m fat. Can you see it: having dinner with a friend and they make a reference to my being “overweight” and me having a total and complete meltdown because of it! “What are you saying? Overweight? What do you mean by that? You don’t mean that I am….. I don’t know if I can bring myself to say it…. FAT!? How can you say that? I may be a little chubby but that is not FAT! If that is how you see me, well, I don’t think I can be around you! Goodbye!” and storm out of the restaurant crying with my dessert in hand! (I’m an emotional eater!!)
And why should Suzy SkinnyPants get all defensive when I refer to myself as fat? I know what I am and I don’t need anyone else defending me for it, especially someone who needs to have a double cheeseburger, 4 slices of pizza and a milkshake shoved down their throat! And then they say the most ridiculous thing…. Are you ready for it?? “You aren’t fat, you’re overweight.” WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? Fat is overweight, overweight is fat! Let’s see what the dictionary has to say, shall we??

According to dictionary.com:
Fat: having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese.

Overweight: weighing too much or more than is considered normal, proper, etc.

Now, call me crazy but those 2 definitions seem to be very similar (Well, the Overweight one is a little special but I will get into that in just a few) so why do thin/skinny/underweight people feel like it is a bad thing to let someone call themselves fat? Seems to me that if I want to call myself fat, heffer, or even Tubo the Wonder Whale, that is my right!

Now, onto the definition of OVERWEIGHT….. OVERweight, UNDERweight….. What is this WEIGHT? What is NORMAL or PROPER? And who was made judge and jury of that determination? Was there an election somewhere that I wasn’t told about? I want in on that – Let me decide!! You can look on the internet and probably find 20 different definitions for what is a “normal” weight, so which one is right? You can bet that all of them were decided on by some male doctor who is probably 10-20 lbs overweight so I guess his judgment is a bit impaired! We live in a society that has women believing that Kate Moss is a NORMAL weight and if you don’t look like Angelina Jolie, you just aren’t beautiful. Well, I beg to differ. In my new adventures in SparkVille, I have come across so many amazingly beautiful women, both inside and out! Women who are supportive of each other and make a true effort to lift each other up instead of tear each other down. In my most humble opinion, that is truly beautiful.

Small is Tall.

2008-03-27T02:44:00.001-04:00

A giggle from your Coffee Obsessed Fat Chick. Couldn't help but share, especially since I have been blogging about Starbucks lately. Enjoy!

I am hiding on my scale

2008-03-25T21:02:00.000-04:00

I haven’t been to my apartment in 2.5 days and I am scared to go home tonight. Ya’ see, I have been avoiding my scale like the plague and don’t want to have to see it tonight when I get home because I am sure that it will yell at me and tackle me in the living room as soon as I walk in the door. I am convinced that she has spent the last few days alone in the apartment plotting ways to force me to weigh myself so she can yell at me for gaining 1.2 lbs. I have to figure out a way to get inside without the scale seeing or hearing me and get it into a closet so that it can’t get to me but she is smart and sneaky. She is probably sitting right by the front door, waiting patiently for my to put my key in the lock so she can throw herself in my path and weigh me before I know it but I can’t let that happen, I will have bags with me that weigh at least 10 lbs but she won’t care! She will yell at me in her drill sergeant voice how much I weigh and won’t even consider that I will be carrying my laundry, laptop and my purse – Oh God! I have a few bags from Wal-Mart that I need to bring in too, who knows what they weigh!! I have to be prepared for an obstacle course to stay away from her – a lot of bobbing and weaving, dropping and rolling and maybe even some wall climbing. I gotta be like Spiderman! Who am I kidding? I am nothing like Spiderman, couldn’t do it even if I wanted to - I’ve never been bit by a radioactive spider!! Maybe I can try to be like Batman but I am no millionaire, that’s for sure. I guess I will just have to find a way to stay away from her so she can’t get me.
Well, I am getting ready to go home so WISH ME LUCK!

Darn that Easter Bunny!!

2008-03-25T15:14:00.001-04:00

As I am sure EVERYONE knows, Sunday was Easter. That one day a year where bunnies run rampant, colored chicks peck the day away and baskets full of candy are every kids dream.

As usual, I spent the weekend at my Mom’s. I gave my girls little baskets of chicken nuggets. (What? Chicken Nuggets, Chicken Eggs – its all the same.)

My best friend and her 2 kids came over for Easter dinner. (I think my Mom has given up on me having kids so she is adopting my friend’s kids and spoiling them rotten – it’s a win win for everyone) The boys are 7 and 9 and I have really become very fond of them…..oh, hell – I love the little rug rats! My friend (We’ll call her “A”) and the boys father are divorced so the boys have split homes (1 week w/ A, the other with Dad)which can not be easy on them but it means that they have 2 separate forms of upbringing. The older seems to have a good maturity level and understands what to say and what not to say. The younger is a completely different story – the filter that most people have that tells them what is OK to say and what is not is completely gone! He has what I like to call VERBAL VOMIT – If it pops in his head, he will say it no matter what! They got to the house, we had all of our greetings and the boys gave Mom and me flowers. (How sweet, I know!!). We sat around talking while the boys played on Mom’s “play” laptop and watched videos on YouTube. A went into the kitchen with Mom for a few minutes and I sat I in the living room while they went thru the candy that Mom had given them for Easter. As the younger boy sat at the coffee table looking thru his candy, he said to me “No candy for you! Looks like you’ve had too much already so you can’t have anymore!” I wish that I could say that I was shocked and horrified by this statement but I wasn’t. I have gotten use to him making these little comments here and there but it made me think, once the wave of shock/humiliation/anger wore off, about why do some people think that this is OK. Now, he is 7 and is the product of his environment so his primary caregiver (He has lived with his father for the last 3 years while his Mom was in school)
is primarily to blame so I give him a little slack but does that make it OK for him to feel like it is OK for him to blurt out anything he wants? I don’t think so! And how do you deal with that? I don’t want to do what I may do with an adult and tell him to go to hell and leave because that is just wrong but he can’t be led to believe that this behavior is acceptable but it isn’t my place to correct him. It was a holiday and I really didn’t want to say anything but that phrase stuck with me all evening. In the past, when he has said these things in front of his Mom, she was embarrassed but I hate that because it isn’t her fault. I am sure that there is no talking to Daddy Dearest about this sort of thing because he has played a role in how the little one sees people. One day he will open his little mouth to the wrong person and he will not like what he gets…… I hope that person isn’t me but it may be of he keeps it up!

Adventures at Starbucks......

2008-03-21T19:01:00.001-04:00

I decided this morning that I was going to stop for coffee on my way into work. There are so many reasons to stop – The yummy goodness of coffee, the little pick-me-up that I get, the REALLY CUTE Barista……. But I digress.
My intention was to get a Caramel Light Frappuccino because they taste really good and they are pretty low in calorie. As I turned into the parking lot of my work Starbucks (I have a work Starbucks which is around the corner from my office and a home Starbucks which is about a mile from my apartment – and they know me by name and drink at both…… again, I digress), I noticed that there was a car at the little order taking box thingy so I pulled in behind them, opened my sunroof a bit and put the radio a little louder. As I sat listening to the new Madonna/Justin Timberlake song and watching the sky, my mind drifted off to Coffee Heaven and how wonderful an Iced Venti Vanilla Caramel Latte would taste……. The subtle sweetness of the vanilla and caramel together and the wonderful taste of the latte, all blended together to make a little piece of heaven just for me! As I watched the car in front of me pull ahead to the pick-up window and remembered the horrible taste of that disgraceful skinny latte I went into a mini- coffee panic! I want to be “a good girl in the diet world” but that is just cruel and unusual punishment for a true coffee lover such as myself. As the speaker began to crackle “Welcome to Starbucks….” my mind went blank. What do I do? Do I order crap coffee or do I get what I want and take the hit in calories? AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Too much pressure for me to deal with and not have caffeine…… that’s what this dilemma was all about, my caffeine!! Before Stephanie had finished her welcome, I screamed into the menu box/microphone in a panicked voice “ICED VENTI VANILLA CARAMEL LATTE WITH CARAMEL SAUCE DRIZZLE AND WHIP CREAM……. EXTRA DRIZZLE!” I felt a sense of relief once the order was placed but then I realized what I had done, I had ordered not only the real deal but added extra caramel and whip cream! My eyes bulged open and I covered my mouth like a 5 year old who had just been caught by Mom saying things she isn’t suppose to say. I had gone from one extreme to the other!! I mumbled “Shit! I can’t believe I did that!” and grabbed my steering wheel and considered speeding out of the line and out of the parking lot in shame but then I realized that if I did that, I wouldn’t get my coffee!! The menu box giggled at me and said “Excuse me?” to which I responded “I’m sorry, I am having issues right now. Can I get a Chop Chop Salad with that also?” She gave me my total and I slowly drove to the window to get my order. I had to wait for a minute or 2 until the car in front of me pull away so I had a few moments to contemplate my next step….. do I get to the window and change my order or do I just deal with the consequences of my actions, enjoying my coffee in the process? This was quite a dilemma but as soon as I saw the car in front of me pull away from the window, I knew what I had to do and I was prepared!! I pulled up to the window and saw my REALLY CUTE barista smiling at me and asking if I was OK. Ya’ see, he was training Stephanie and overheard the entire incident!! Ok, so now, not only was I “a bad girl in the diet world” but I was utterly humiliated and wanted to crawl under a rock and weep! I smiled and apologized for my erratic and explained that I was struggling with my drink choice as yelled out my order before I had really decided. He laughed at me and said “This is why I like you! Everytime you come thru the window, we have some fun!” I laughed and handed him my money and he handed me a bag with my salad and then my drink. I put my sunglasses back on while I waited for my change. Cutie Pie handed me a $5 bill and some change but this was wrong. I handed him a $10 bill so I should have only gotten back some change. I told him that he had made a mistake but he said “No, I haven’t made a mistake, look at your receipt once you get to your office but not before. Now get to work young lady!” I smiled and drove off. Once I got to my office and sat down at my desk, pulled the receipt out of my purse and looked at it. At the bottom of the receipt, Cutie Pie had written me a little note: “Anyone who has that much of a problem choosing what kind of coffee to get, shouldn’t have to pay for it. This one is on me.” WOW! That Vanilla Caramel Latte is normally really good but it tastes so much better when it is free!! After all that, I decided to take the hit in calories for my coffee and really enjoy it…… and I did!! I called Starbucks later in the morning to thank Cutie Pie for his generosity and to ask what kind of milk was used (whole or 2%) in my drink. Fortunately, it was 2% so my drink wasn’t quite as bad as I expected.
I made a decision that I would not make myself suffer when it comes to coffee, maybe I will just get a smaller size or stick with the 2% rather than whole milk. Don’t think I could handle going thru that again!

Has Starbucks lost their ever loving mind??

2008-03-20T02:01:00.003-04:00

OK, I overslept this morning and ended up running out of the house like a lunatic to get to work on time. Because of this, I didn't get to make my morning coffee at home so I decided to stop at Starbucks (I LOVE STARBUCKS) and get my morning caffeine fix. This Fat Chick without my caffeine fix is not good for ANYONE, trust me. Well, they have been advertising these SKINNY latte's so I decided to try to be 'a good girl in the diet world' and get one. I was happy to see that they had my favorites vanilla and caramel so I got a Venti Iced Vanilla Caramel Skinny Latte. I was all excited about it thinking this could make my diet sooooo much easier for me since I am a total Starbucks junky. I took a sip right there at the drive up window and thought "OK, not too bad but not as good as a regular one." In the 2.6 minutes that it took me to drive from Starbucks to my office, my latte turned into brown water!! That wonderful creamy vanilla caramel yumminess turned into yuk the minute a single ice cube melted. I mean it became TERRIBLE, like water - bad tasting water!! Give me the real deal any day. I'll take the hit in calories for taste. I need the good stuff! Thank God my Starbucks fairy went to Starbucks a little later in the day so I was able to get the real thing and make it thru the rest of the day without physically hurting someone, most likely myself! This got me thinking about "diet" alternatives and I realized that there are some that are great! There are some that you can't taste the difference but then there are others (like this skinny latte) that taste horrible and make you want to give up the idea of dieting all together. Now, Starbucks is a HUGE company and I am sure that if someone in Starbucks heaven sat down and really thought about this they couls find a way to make these skinny latte's taste good! The Light Frappucinos are great so why can't they make a latte that good? Maybe I should start a petition? Or do a MARCH ON STARBUCKS! Yes! I will gather a large group of my fellow FAT CHICKS and we will march into the corporate offices in Seattle and DEMAND better diet lattes. Can you imagine the faces on the receptionist? The fear of being attacked by a large group of fat people who want a better alternative for diet friendly caffeine. I know I am scary when I don't have my caffeine so imagine 20 or 30 ME'S coming at ya! It is not a pretty thought. In fact, the thought is kinda freaking me out so I need to stop! Actually, it is almost 3am and I need to go to sleep so that I can wake up with enough time to make coffee at home.

Do I have anything to say?

2008-03-16T14:59:00.004-04:00

I am sitting in my mother's living room with my dogs (gotta love a laptop) feeling the need to blog but I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!! Trying to think of something funny - I got nothing!! Something serious- I got zip! So, I will do what most writers do - I will write about having nothing to write about! My mind is a blank page! I keep looking around the room hoping that something will jump out at me but I got nothing!!

Let's do something a little different - let me give you a glimpse into the life of THE FAT CHICK:
I spend most of my weekends at my Mom's to have time with my girls, Jaz and Zoe. The are my beautiful little furry babies and I absolutely love them! Here are some pix:

This is Zoe Jayne. She is the youngster and she is my prescious little girl. How could anyone not love that face!

This is Jazriel Leigh. She is the older of the 2 and the queen of the castle if you ask her!

These are 2 very spoiled little girls and they know it!

I guess this was a good excuse to experiment with adding pictures to my blog and it looks like it was a success!! YAY!

Now, off to think about something to really write about.

Schmooches

And the diet roller coaster continues.....

2008-03-15T02:01:00.003-04:00

I have been trying to diet...... and I stress the word TRYING! Ya' see, I am not a very successful dieter. In fact, I am probably the absolute worst dieter in the history of dieting. Maybe I should call myself THE ANTI-DIETER and get a hot pink unitard with a bright yellow belt, a purple mask and a turquoise cape with a big donut on the back! I try, I mean I really try but I feel like no matter what I do I fail miserably. Am I afraid of something? Do I unintentionally sabotage myself? I don't understand it but I wish I did. I wish I knew what was wrong with me to make me always do the wrong thing. People talk about how you have to hit rock bottom before you can really do it or you how you have to be ready to do it so WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? How much more crap so I have to deal with before my mind finally gives in? This is the one area of my life where I feel like a total failure. I have a job that I really like, great friends, fantastic family and I just got a new car (well, new to me - 2005) but when it comes to loosing weight, I am a complete and utter failure. I want to loose weight for all of the typical reasons - shopping, dating, walking - but I seem to keep doing all of the wrong things and eating all of the wrong foods. How do I stop? What do I do to make this change in my life? Not sure yet but I am working on it. I have not given up and I won't give up but I need to find my motivation to make it happen.

I have taken the power BACK!

2008-03-12T01:32:00.003-04:00

Ok...... I was just reading a post on a message board on SparkPeople - Done Being The Fat Girl (Hello Ladies!!) and it made me start to think...... I mean REALLY think about my cyber alter-ego, THE FAT CHICK! I wear that badge proudly and I am sure that some of my new "Done Girl" friends as well as some other friends think I am INSANE wearing that badge as I do. I wrote something back in July that I think is appropriate right now so I am going to repost it so that those who don't want to go all the way back to when I started writting this. ENJOY!! .....

Friday, July 6, 2007

Why THE FAT CHICK?
I was talking to one of my friends recently who happens to be one of my few readers..... in fact, sometimes I think I do this just for her (SCHMOOCHES!).
She asked me what I thought was an odd question - "Why do you call youself THE FAT CHICK? Don't you think that some overweight women might find that offesive?" As you may have guessed, she is not very "weight challenged." Having the conversation with her made me think about it so I decided to address it here.
Why THE FAT CHICK? Well, for me, The Fat Chick is more of a reference to attitude than a reference to my weight. Now, I am quite a FAT CHICK, meaning I need to loose some weight but when I call myself THE FAT CHICK here it is more because of the fact that I am A-OK with being who I am, fat and all! Sure I want to loose weight, to be healthier, to be able to do more of the things that I want to do and to make shopping easier!! (I have more shoes and purses than any woman could ever need, now I want the clothes!). I am what I am and I am the only one who has to live with it so if someone doesn't like it, they can kiss my big white butt!! Those who are trully my friends will love me no matter what size I am, those who are not trully my friends are .... why bother even going into them.Writting this blog is part of my journey into weight loss. I write it like I live it, sometimes funny, sometimes not so funny but it is all about me living my life as a fat chick. If this helps make someone elses journey easier, FANTASTIC!
We all have our own road to travel but it is where our roads cross that make the journey more interesting

The trouble with drinking water....

2008-03-11T14:45:00.003-04:00

They say when you diet, you need to drink alot of water. Well, I am drinking the water but I have to run to the bathroom every hour on the hour so I guess it causes me to work out too with all the running I am doing to the bathroom.

Hi Ho Hi Ho, off to the potty I go.....AGAIN!

The battle with my scale continues....

2008-03-08T21:38:00.003-05:00

I am beginning to think that my scales has it in for me!
I mean first, it screams my weight to the neighborhood and almost caused me to have a heart attack. Now, it picks and chooses when it wants to tell me how much I weigh. If it were up to me, I would never want to know how much I weigh but this whole weight loss thing requires it. And I am beginning to think that it just doesn't like me - I attempted to weigh myself earlier today and the damn thing kept telling me GOODBYE! What the heck is that all about? I would step on it, wait.... and wait longer.... and longer.... then it would say goodbye! Like it was tired of me and wanted me to just go away - stupid Primadonna scale! I did not pay $90 for a high quality scale to get attitude from it! I paid $90 for a scale so that I could weigh myself at home and not have to pay Weight Watchers $12 a week to get weighed. Besides that, FAT CHICKS need special scales that can handle them! It is a nice looking scale, black and silver with a nice big display and a nice woman's voice to tell me exactly how fat I am - SOUNDS GREAT, HUH?
Truthfully, I did Weight Watchers for a while and it was great but I got to the point where I was only going to get weighed, not for the meeting or the people, just the scale. The people got on my nerves most of the time and the meetings were just telling me things that I knew already but had decided not to follow because I like pizza too much and being a big fat heffer is just too much damn fun!! (that last part is sarcasm- anyone that has read anything that I write knows I am VERY SARCASTIC and loves me for it)
I have not given up on loosing weight, I can't give up on it - it's a necessity - but it makes me crazy sometimes (like now) and I hate that! I have been visiting SparkPeople on a very regular basis and I like it so far. And as you can tell, I am weighing myself even though I hate it. I hope that eventually I will feel a little better about this dieting thing but until then IT SUCKS!

Another day in DIETLAND for the Fat Chick

2008-03-07T00:57:00.003-05:00

Well, I have been "dieting" for 2 days now and IT SUCKS!!
I understand the necessity of it, really I do, but I don't have to like it. In fact, I can hate it if I want to! I have been trying to be good but I like food! And I like all of the worst possible foods so that makes this dieting thing all the harder. I have been tracking my food in SparkPeople and I even weighed myself 2 days ago. I am determined to have some success this time, no matter what!!
Now, as I mentioned, I weighed myself a few days ago and it was quite an experience. Ya' see, I got a scale that talks. It was not m intention but the scale that I liked just happened to be able to talk. The little instruction paper said that I could turn the voice off but it didn't give very good directions on HOW so my first weigh in was "special". I put the batteries in and placed it on the floor and walked out of the bathroom for a minute and stepped on the scale when I went back into the bathroom. As I stepped on the scale it said "I'm ready" in a kinda muffled voice so I decided to turn the voice off. I flipped the scale over then read and followed the instructions to turn the voice off then placed it back on the floor. I stepped back on the scale and after a few seconds my scale SCREAMS at me my current weight, which was scary all by itself without having my scale announce to the entire eastern seaboard that I am a big fat heffer at the top of its lungs! I immediately began yelling at the scale "SHUT UP! BE QUIET!!" and practically fell into my bathtub as it repeated my weight again. I live alone but I have I neighbors and if any of them were in a 6 block radius, they heard it!! I grabbed the darn thing, flipped it over and fumbled for the volume and OFF switch. I found it, yelled at it "You Stupid Scale" and then turned it off. I never want to hear that terrible voice again - she was evil and will haunt me forever.
This made me start thinking about scales that talk and why there aren't any that taunt you when you try to weigh youself. I mean, I bet you would work a little harder if you knew that yourr scale were going to say something like "Damn Girl! What have you been eating? You gained 3 lbs in 3 days." or "STEP OFF! Are you trying to kill me?" I would buy that scale and invite my friends to come over once a week to have weigh-in parties. We could have cocktails, snacks and make a performance of it. Wouldn't that be cool!? Just something to think about.

Well, and so it begins.....

2008-03-05T01:08:00.002-05:00

I have officially started a diet!! I signed up on SparkPeople.com, got a scale and I am off to the races!

Wish me luck! Check my website for progress (freewebs.com/thefatchick)

THE FAT CHICK HAS A NEW LAPTOP!!

2008-03-03T16:44:00.003-05:00

After much waiting and anticipation, my my new laptop has arrived!! And, BOY IS IT PRETTY!! Got a new Dell with the colored cover and I got the purple one and I LOVE IT!! OK, I have only had ir for a few hours but how can I not love a purple laptop? Maybe now I will give more attention for the website that I have been working on! We'll see......

I guess it is time to diet.......

2008-02-29T20:12:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned earlier, I recently had a birthday. (Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday Dear Fat Chick! Happy Birthday to me!) But I digress.......

As with most women, at New Year's and Birthdays we decide to go on a diet and loose that extra weight we have been carrying around since infancy and just can't seem to loose. I am no different this year for my birthday - I decided that I REALLY want to loose weight. Not because it is what society tells me that I need to do, but because I want to be a little healthier and happier. There are so many limitations that I feel because of the extra weight and I am TIRED OF IT! I have tried many diets and have not had alot of success. Most recently, I did Weight Watchers and liked it but I found that the only reason that I wanted to go was to get weighed in every week and I am tired of spending that money every month so I cancelled WW and askeed for a good scale for my birthday from my mother. Of course, I couldn't be happy with some schmuck scale from Wal-Mart for $15 - NOT ME, NOT THIS FAT CHICK! I wanted a really good one that has a wider base, a larger weight capacity and that TALKS! Not only do I want to see how fat I am, I want to have the scale TELL ME how fat I am! What better motivation than to have the scale YELL AT ME when I don't loose weight or beg for mercy when I step on it to weigh ("Dear God Woman! What have you been eating - CHILDREN?" or maybe "Are you trying to kill me? Get off before I die!") Well, we ordered the scale last weekend and it was delivered to Mom's house today..... this means that my diet must begin very soon. Gotta load up on all of the bad and evil food that I will not be able to eat once the diet begins. I will get my scale tomorrow when I go to Mom's for the weekend so I think I will start the real diet next week. Maybe I will track my weight loss on my new FAT CHICK WEBSITE - I am working on it ya' know!

Oscars and the Fat Chick......

2008-02-25T13:54:00.003-05:00

So, I watched the Oscars last night. What self respecting movie buff doesn't watch the Oscars? Jon Stewart was a good host - funny, didn't give long over-drawn speeches and he wasn't afraid to be a little political. The musical performances were good (well, except for the stupid song that won but that is another paragraph). Overall it was a decent night.

Now, onto my reason for wanting to rant:

DANIEL DAY LEWIS? DANIEL FREAKIN' DAY LEWIS? What the hell is that all about? I didn't see the movie and have no plans whatsoever to do so but DANIEL DAY LEWIS - BEST ACTOR? We had Johnny Depp in Sweeny Todd, Goerge Clooney in Michael Clayton, Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises, Tommy Lee Jones in In The Valley of Elah and they chose DANIEL FREAKIN' DAY LEWIS????? There is no way that his half-ass overacting could compare to Viggo as a Russian (he went full frontal nude in this movie so if ya' like Viggo, it is a must see!), Johnny as a blade wielding barber who sings, George as an self loathing attorney who takes down THE BIG COMPANY or Tommy as a father of a soldier killed after returning from Iraq. Makes no sense to me and it pissed me off!! These other actors were robbed!

I have not seen No Country for Old Men but I plan to see it when it comes out on DVD, it won far too many awards for me not to see it. Tommy Lee Jones may not be a very attractive man but he is one hell of an actor. Javier Bardem is just gorgeous - well, in this movie he had a very bad hair day or month I guess. I LOVE Josh Brolin too.

Tilda Swinton (best supporting actress) was really amazing in Michael Clayton. And it was nice to see someone else win besides Cate Blanchette! Good actress but I am sick of her!

Didn't see La Vie En Rose, it is french and I don't like subtitles so I may never see it but I may.

Now on to the Best Song winner - ANOTHER WHAT THE HELL?? Of the 5 choices, THIS was the best?? I think not! This was the worst song of the bunch and I am offended that it won!! The song from August Rush was AMAZING!! But the DRIBBLE from Once won the award? Absolutely Ridiculous!!

And The Bourne Ultimatum - an Oscar winner? How about that crap? I love those movies so who cares what the award was, IT WON!!

And, not one fellow fat chick was nominated for anything. SON OF A BITCH!! That just pisses me off but I will survive! Maybe next year.......

Happy Birthday to THE FAT CHICK!!

2008-02-24T18:18:00.002-05:00

Yesterday (02/23) was my BIRTHDAY!! I am one year older and wiser.

Now, I am off to have another slice of my birthday cheesecake and wait for the Oscars to come on.

The Fat Chick is Pondering again.....

2008-02-22T02:24:00.003-05:00

Well, I am taking a little time off of work and, for the first time in months, I have spent all day at home alone. And when I spend all day at home alone I start thinking about all kinds of crazy things. "And what crazy things are you thinking?" you may ask......

Well, I spent a good chunk of the day catching up on shows that have been saved on my DVR for far too long. In the numerous hours of TV watching I did today, I noticed something - most of the "heavier" women in TV are the "best friends" or secretary or some secondary character. Why is that? Is there some hidden rule that fat chicks are the freakin' comic relief? OK, what prompted this was watching Criminal Minds....... Garcia (can't remember her first name) is the computer/technical specialist and I love her!! She is great! She has her own sense of style and isn't afraid to be a little "out there" and I LOVE THAT!! But as I watch different shows I continue to notice that this seems to be a recurring theme.... Criminal Minds, Samantha who? and October Road to name a few. It seems like my fellow fat sisters fall into what I like to call The Santa Syndrome.

"Hey, Fat Chick, what the heck is The Santa Syndrome?" You are probably asking yourself. Think about Santa - fat guy, red suit with fur trim, always jolly and ho ho ho'ing all the time - that is either Santa or a few of my gay friends but for this purpose, it is SANTA. This seems to be the general idea of fat (heavy, overweight, plump whatever you want to call it) women in Hollywood. Does this sound like the fat chicks that you know? I mean, I am a generally happy woman but there are times when this fat chick gets mad and wants to throw her weight around........ STOP LAUGHING, you know what I am saying! And when you take into consideration the way that we are treated by society, Can you blame us for being pissed off? I don't see how anyone could. Don't get me wrong, I love Santa. He brings us presents and plays a huge role in the best time of the year! But why aren't fat dudes treated in the same way? But why would I expect women to be treated equally to men in this area? We aren't treated the same in any other area.

Oh well, enough pondering for now. Time to go do something mindless.....

Toodles

Big Brother 9

2008-02-14T18:52:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I am a HUGE (no pun intended) Big Brother fan and was absolutely THRILLED to see a new season coming on this month. Well, the BIG DAY arrived this week and BB9 began. And, as usual, there is a SUPRISE - the title of the season is BIG BROTHER 9: TIL DEATH DO US PART!! They have matched people up in pairs and they are playing as teams instead of individuals! HA! How funny is this going to be!! So far, so good! There have been 2 episodes and ALREADY somebody got stupid, lied about things that people were saying and got himself and his partner kicked out. I guess it is the nature of the contestants on the show - I mean anyone who will agree to live in a house that they can not leave, cut themselves off from friends, family and society in general and live with people that they don't know deserves whatever they get. BUT it sures does make good TV!

A Fat Chick Web Site

2008-02-09T13:28:00.001-05:00

Been thinking about starting a website for myself.... because people ignoring my blog is just not enough!! I need to have a whole website ignored!
Probably won't be all that much but it'll be something!

Oh Yeah.......

2008-02-02T19:26:00.000-05:00

I am overjoyed at something that I saw on TV last night.......

are you ready?????

WE HAVE A NEW SEASON OF BIG BROTHER STARTING SOON!!
I love Big Brother in a way that is probably not normal or healthy but I DON'T CARE!
It makes me happy and I freakin' deserve to be happy!

The fun begins on February 12!! I am soooooo watching it! The DVR is already set to record it.

What the Hell........

2008-02-02T17:55:00.000-05:00

I have been a BAD FAT CHICK and not blogged like I should... well, I am going to really try to change that for you...... Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me?? DOES ANYONE CARE???

It is Feb 2, 2008 and I am sitting at my desk at work STEWING over the crap I just witnessed at Wally-World (that's Wal-Mart in Fat Chick-ese). I ran over there during my lunch break to grab a few things for a Superbowl party and didn't make it past the women's clothing when I saw and heard the most horrific thing. There was a young girl, maybe 13 or 14, shopping with her Mom and Dad. She was looking at clothes and was showing her Mom a pair of pants that she liked. Sounds like a normal thing to see in WallyWorld, right? Well it was what I heard next that made me want to scream. Her father says to her "Oh no, you can't wear that! You're too fat for that kind of clothes. That is the stuff that you see pretty, skinny girls wear and you are not that!!" This was not a "fat" girl, she looked like she was a healthy girl with some meat on her bones, not an anorexic like we so often see on TV and in movies. (You know the girls I am talking about - Keira Knightly, Natalie Portman, Victoria Beckham to name a few. These are the girls that you want to cram hamburgers and pizza's in their mouth in hopes that they will gain a pound and look normal. I know I am not the only one with that fantasy, I can't be.) She was a very pretty girl, a very YOUNG girl. Her mother just stood there and stared at her father in total disbelief. This poor girl looked as though she had just been beaten but the abuse she had just received was far worst than any beating she could have gotten. She was humiliated in public by her own father. She turned, walked away and probably cried her eyes out. Her mother followed after her but her father just stood there with a confused look on his face. Now, he was no prize! He was short, tubby and balding so what room did he have to talk? As I watched this young, wounded girl walk away from her father, I had to fight the urge to run over to him and squish him with my fat chicky-ness or go to my car, wait for him to leave and ACCIDENTALLY run him over in the parking lot. But I didn't do any of those things. Instead, I walked out of Wal-Mart with nothing that I went in for, came back to work and started writting this. Such therapy!!

What is wrong with the world that we live in? I am not saying that being overweight is great because it isn't. If it were, the diet industry would not exist. But overweight people are human - they bleed, cry, sweat just like everyone else. Why is it so hard for so many people to realize that? I guess now I go on and continue my little crusade for FAT CHICK RIGHTS!

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T18:24:00.001-05:00

Ok, the holidays really suck because I think there is a law or something that says that you have to eat 12 meals a day and gain a minimum of 15 lbs! I don't know where the law is written but I am sure that it is somewhere.

As every other fat chick on the planet, I have vowed to loose weight in 2008!! Not just for my health but because it rhymes so nicely.

Ya' wanna know what bugs me at New Years Resolution? These 18 year old girls who weigh all of 75 lbs who talk about how they are going to REALLY LOOSE WEIGHT THIS YEAR? Well, if they take off their earrings and socks they will loose all the weight they can bare to loose - not to mention a big gust of wind will blow them away. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so, I think it makes me a REAL person. We live in this weight obsessed society that tells us that if anyone is slightly overweight they are less of a person and not worthy of a second glance. Well, THAT'S CRAP!!

I guess this blog is my little way of changing that view. I may be working on loosing weight, but I think I will always be a FAT CHICK - and that is OK with me.

I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC New Year! I am sure going to try.

Much Love and munchies
The Fat Chick

Well Hot Damn!!

2007-11-11T16:06:00.000-05:00

I just found out about Figure Magazine - A magazine "Celebrating the Plus Size Woman"! Have I been under a rock or something? I don't think so but I have subscribed to the magazine as well as the online community! I am all over it!! Another place for the Fat Chick to hang out online!

Long time, No Blog!

2007-11-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

Sorry for my extended absence but I have been cruising the world or maybe I was abducted by aliens or maybe I have been ruling a small nation. Actually it is none of these, I have just been a bit out of it so I have neglected my duties as THE FAT CHICK! Well, NO MORE!! I am back and ready to go............. so stay tuned for more rants and ravings from THE FAT CHICK!!

Whiney Asses!

2007-08-05T23:26:00.000-04:00

I am a true blue, die hard Big Brother fan!! I have watched each season religiously but this is the first season that I have been tempted to stop watching! I am getting sick and tired of watching Amber cry every freaking episode!! It is a constant stream of tears from that girl. She could probably fill the pol with all the damn tears she has cried in the last week! Then I have been watching Rock of Love w/ Brett Michaels onVH1 and these crazy women are out of their minds!! One cries, another does the baby talk thing constantly and the rest are strippers or/and strippers in training. What the hell!!?
Now, on top of the crying frenzy, these freakin' women are borderline anorexic or they have so much silicone or saline in them that it is insane!! Rock of Love has so many beachball boobies that no one needs to worry about drowning! It is no wonder that young girls have such a screwed up view of what is atractive and beautiful! What a freaking messed up society we live in.

Well.... well... well.....

2007-07-26T19:09:00.000-04:00

Been a little while since I have posted but I have been having some issues lately - nothing extreme but still aggravating.
As I have mentioned, I am doing Weight Watchers to loose some weight. I like the program, it seems to be the most tested and successful program out there so it is the program that I am going to work with. Lately, I have been feeling like a total and complete failure at this dieting thing. I really want to loose weight for oh so many reasons but I feel like I can't do it! It is like the Diet Gods are up in there Weight Watcher Center in the sky laughing at me because I am just a total and complete failure. I do OK for part of the day and then I something happens and I feel the need to eat every bad thing imaginable - pizza, burgers, donuts, pasta, etc. I wish I understood why this is and why it seems to come up all of a sudden. I will have a month where I do great and then 2 weeks where I feel completely out of control when it comes to food. I can't help but feel like it is stress related because things have been CRAZY at work lately and when I leave the office I turn to my favorite piece of comfort - food! I have been going to the WW message boards for support, encouragement and inspiration. It has helped and I really like the community there but left to my own devices, I am out of control.
What is a Fat Chick to do?? Really, if you know TELL ME!!

Fat Chick Music Choice

2007-07-16T12:41:00.000-04:00

Haven't done this before but there is always a first, right?

Just got a new CD that I am really liking quite a bit. Corine Baily Rae - If you don't have it and like mellow R&B, give it a try.

Dieting Sucks!

2007-07-14T23:07:00.000-04:00

Can I tell you that dieting sucks? I mean REALLY SUCKS!

I am a yo-yo. One week I do great, some weight and feel really good bout the whole dieting thing then the next week I gain some of what I lost and feel like an idiot. Why do I feel like an idiot? Because this should not be this hard! I feel like I shouldn't be having the problems that I am having with this whole process but I am! I feel like I am on a neverending rollercoaster - up and down and up and down and up and down. I WANT OFF!
I want to loose weight because it is what I want, not because it is what society wants. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, live my life without the limitations that this extra weight gives me.

Oh well, time to start fresh. There is no day like today. I am sure that I can come up with a few other cliches but I won't bore you. Got back on the dieting bandwagon and I am going to try to stay on it - wish me luck!

Why THE FAT CHICK?

2007-07-06T11:15:00.000-04:00

I was talking to one of my friends recently who happens to be one of my few readers..... in fact, sometimes I think I do this just for her (SCHMOOCHES!).

She asked me what I thought was an odd question - "Why do you call youself THE FAT CHICK? Don't you think that some overweight women might find that offesive?" As you may have guessed, she is not very "weight challenged." Having the conversation with her made me think about it so I decided to address it here.

Why THE FAT CHICK? Well, for me, The Fat Chick is more of a reference to attitude than a reference to my weight. Now, I am quite a FAT CHICK, meaning I need to loose some weight but when I call myself THE FAT CHICK here it is more because of the fact that I am A-OK with being who I am, fat and all! Sure I want to loose weight, to be healthier, to be able to do more of the things that I want to do and to make shopping easier!! (I have more shoes and purses than any woman could ever need, now I want the clothes!). I am what I am and I am the only one who has to live with it so if someone doesn't like it, they can kiss my big white butt!! Those who are trully my friends will love me no matter what size I am, those who are not trully my friends are .... why bother even going into them.

Writting this blog is part of my journey into weight loss. I write it like I live it, sometimes funny, sometimes not so funny but it is all about me living my life as a fat chick. If this helps make someone elses journey easier, FANTASTIC!

We all have our own road to travel but it is where our roads cross that make the journey more interesting

Is it just me? Please say no!

2007-06-30T21:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, my Mother and I went to do a little shopping at Target (that is TAR-JAY) because Wal-Mart just wasn't cutting it!

It is the end of June so it is hot outside and some people are wearing a little less clothing. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT..... IN SOME CASES! We were minding our own business looking at purses and wallets (because you can never have to many purses and/or wallets) when we saw someone that just could not be missed. Now, understand, I am the last person to talk about someone being overweight because I AM THE FAT CHICK but this was just too much for me not to mention it here, in my refuge for all things that must be said.

Friends should not let friends dress and drive! Especially when they know that the friend has a faulty fashion sense. For an overweight person, the statement LESS IS MORE does not apply to clothing. Also, just because an outfit looks good on Tyra Banks or Paris Hilton does not mean it will look good on just anyone. OK, to the purpose of this rant - When I dress to go somewhere, whether it be work, dinner with friends, a movie or a family gathering, I make sure that I am appropriately covered. Don't want anything too tight or too short because I don't feel the need to show my extra rolls or cottage cheese thighs to just anyone - it takes a special someone to get me to show my goodies! (I may show my undies but not the GOODIES!).

Violet (this is the name that I have decided to give this person we saw in Target - you'll see why in a bit) was looking at jewelry at the jewelry counter, which is in the same area as the purses. My Mother stopped in her tracks and was speechless, which is pretty unbelievable for my Mother! I heard short gasps come from Mom so I looked to see what was wrong and I saw Violet. Violet was about 5ft 6in with platinum blonde hair which was pulled up in a ponytail at the very top of her head - not so bad so far, right? We will start at the top - Violet had on a bright purple tight "Flashdance" style t-shirt. By this I mean the neck was cut out so that it would fall just off the shoulder. The shirt came just past the waist but the slightest stretch caused it to ride up and her bra showed thru the shirt as well. Violet wore a purple denim skirt with hot pink stitching that was far shorter and tighter than a woman of her size should wear, in public. Bending over was not an option for Violet in this ensemble. Violet rounded out this outfit with a pair of purple stiletto heels that wrapped around the leg with a purple ribbon up to her mid calf. Do you now understand why I named her Violet? You are probably thinking that Violet must be a young woman in her late teems or early twenties, well, you are wrong!! Violet was at least in her early 30's, if not older. This outfit left NOTHING to the imagination - NOTHING!! If it was there, it was seen and seen by all! This outfit bordered on lingerie and should not have been taken out of the home for any reason. First and foremost, I would think that a petit woman would not have looked good in this outfit but a very large woman? No! This was just too much. I wanted to run over to her and perform an EXTREME MAKEOVER right there in Target but I just couldn't do it, besides Ty Pennington was no where to be found and it just wouldn't be the same w/out him! I could never have left my home dressed like that, I feel to much of a need to cover my excess as much as possible. Sometimes a little too much cleavage shows but that is about as much exhibitionism that this Fat Chick has going on.

I probably sound like a real bitch here but I just can't imagine getting dressed in that outfit, looking in the mirror and thinking "Damn! I look good but is there a way that I can show more of my body? Nope, I don't think so! Let's go shopping!" Not to mention, in the society that we currently live in, people think nothing of making rude comments about people that don't fit into the size 8 mold. And who wants that?

Well, I believe I have ranted enough and hope that I have not offended either of my 2 readers. Apologies if I have but this is my comfort zone and I say what I want to say!

Fat Chick Out!

Fat Chick - MIA

2007-06-30T12:45:00.000-04:00

Been a little out of sorts lately - and MISSING IN ACTION! Sorry to my loyal readers (there are at least 2 of you so it is necessary to make it plural!) but sometimes a Fat Chick needs to take a little break from life in general. The one thing about taking a break is that it makes you really pay attention to the little things... and by little things I don't just mean the skinny minnies.... so I have many many rants and raves in me just dying to come out! Stay Tuned..............

A Heater in June?

2007-06-19T18:50:00.001-04:00

I am beginning to think that I have lost my mind. Either lost it or it has melted from the heat!!
It was about 85 degrees this morning when I got to the office and noticed that it was a bit warm in my little corner of the work universe so I turned on my desktop fan and went about my day (see previous post). My little fan helped so I figured it was just me since I tend to be warmer than everyone around me. As expected, I have had to leave my desk several times thru the day, especially since I drink water like a fish because WW tells me to and I try to be a good little Fat Chick. Each time I came back to my desk, I noticed that as soon as I turned the corner to get the my corner of the work universe things got warmer. The rest of the building seems very comfortable but my corner seems like the 8th realm of hell!! After noticing this 3 or 4 times, I said something to the "toothpick" that sits near me about it being warm and you will not believe what she told me........ "Really? I am chilly, I have a heater on at my desk." It took everything in me not to scream at the top of my lungs "Are you trying to kill me? What is wrong with you? Have you lost your everloving mind?" Now, I didn't so be proud of me but I wanted to really bad! THANK GOD I am the toothpick's supervisor so I was able to take care of that quickly and ask her to not run the heater during the summer months, it is just too hot. Now, when I arrive tomorrow, we will see if she actually listens. I could squash her if I wanted, ya' know!

Damn Skinny Chicks!

2007-06-19T12:01:00.000-04:00

I am at the office today (yes I do work, writting a blog makes me no money at all especially since there is probably no one reading it) and we have a vendor coming in for a visit so they have provided a bunch of t-shirts for some of us to wear while they are here. How nice of them, right? Well, as usual, they had a bunch of small and medium's, a decent amount of larges and a few x-larges. Wouldn't you know it, these little skinny chicks go and grab all of the x-larges! I guess they needed new dresses or nightshirts! This really aggravates me because this means when the larger people go to get the larger shirts THEY ARE GONE and all that is left are small and medium, which would fit the skinny girls just fine. I don't wear t-shirts so I was in no rush to go get one but one of the girls in my group is a larger girl and went to get one but all that was left was large, which would not fit her. She came back saying that they HATE FAT PEOPLE, as a joke but still!! It wasn't her fault or even the vendors fault, it was the fault of the skinny chicks who show no consideration for the larger people in the world - why should they, no one else does!
Life as a Fat Chick is not easy in this Skinny Chick world!!

Confession Time

2007-06-17T18:43:00.000-04:00

There are times in this Fat Chicks life when I wonder if I am a bad person. This last week has been one of those times.
I work as a supervisor, which means that I have the joyous task of giving yearly reviews to some company employees. The whole review writting process is a bit much, very time consuming and frustrating because you have to find several different ways to say the same thing to a group of people. On top of that, you have to, in some cases, crush the hopes and dreams of some people and find a nice way to do it. Here is where my dilemma comes in.....
As most overwight women do, I have a little bit of envy and jealousy towards the Skinny Minnies. Can you blame me? They are SKINNY AND MINNIE all at the same time and seem to be able to eat all the pizza and pasta they want while wearing cute clothes and loosing 5 lbs to boot. While writting some reviews for these little bitty skinny women, I get this silent joy when I have to tell them they need to get their act together!! I sometimes find myself writting the review in the most evil ways, saying things like "You may be thin but you can't seem to do XYZ correctly" or "There are many things that you do well but XYZ is not one of them and being thin is not going to help you here" Does that make me a bad person? Does my silent joy in crushing the hopes and dreams of these thin women make me evil? I'm not really sure but I don't know of there is anything that I can do about it. Now, the final version of their reviews is nice and professional but deep down, this Fat Chick wants to crush'em and laugh like the wicked witch of the west!! I didn't but I get a little warm and fuzzy when I think about the possibilities.

What am I? Dr Phil?

2007-06-17T17:42:00.001-04:00

Is there some unwritten rule that the "FAT CHICK" is the office best friend? I am beginning to think there is because in the last week or so EVERYONE has felt the need to share all of their problems with me. Don't get me wrong, I am all about being there for my friends whenever they need me. 4am phone calls? It's happened! 1am frantic text messages? Sure'nuff! But people who I barely know are now calling me into quiet corners to discuss their marriage problems and friend problems and network TV problems and ... you get my point, I hope. Has anyone stopped to ask if I have any problems that I'd like to talk about? Nope. I feel like everyone is thinking "She is like Santa and Jolly so she will help me and listen to me go on and on and on about all of my issues." I love Santa but he has ruined this one for me!! Do I not have the right to have problems because I am a big girl? I have man problems, friend problems, family problems and FREAKIN' NETWORK TV PROBLEMS just like the next chick! Maybe it is my own fault for trying to maintain a good attitude while at work and not flying off the handle at people when I feel like it. Well, I am getting my wings ready because next time I get the urge to fly off the handle, I'M DOING IT!! Then I can be known as the CRAZY FAT CHICK! Seems more appropriate, don't you think?

Why!!

2007-06-14T17:50:00.000-04:00

I was in Wal-Mart a few days ago looking at underwear because even Fat Chicks need new undewear sometimes!

As I am looking at all the pretty designs and colors, I thought of something - WHY WOULD AN OVERWEIGHT WOMAN WANT TO WEAR HI-CUT UNDERWEAR? I mean, really? You can't get the coverage really needed so why wear the darn things, you might as well run around underwearless! What really gets me is that it seemed like about 80% of the underwear there was hi-cut. They were all very pretty, great colors and patterns but not enough of the pretty colors and patterns to cover what is needs to be covered. Tried Target and it was no better.

Ya' see, I hate the idea of spending alot of money on clothes that is not going to be seen by the millions! When I spend alot of money on underwear, I feel the need to show them off to friends, family and some strangers - ok, not many strangers but a few choice strangers. I often let my bra strap slide just so that SOMEONE has seen it and I didn't spend $40 for nothing. I know, it sounds crazy but it is true.

This Fat Chick can't be the only one that thinks about these things.

Men Suck!!

2007-06-06T19:11:00.000-04:00

A few months ago I met this great guy..... I know, hard to believe but true! What luck I had to meet someone who was totally OK with my being A FAT CHICK and actually liked it!! Things were great until I started talking about loosing weight! Can you believe this crap? He does not seem to want me to loose weight!! Why, you may ask? This is a quote from his mouth "YOU ARE THE WAY GOD MADE YOU. WHY CHANGE THAT?" So, God made me fat and wants me to stay fat and not do anything to loose weight or better my health? Does that make any sense at all? Not a damn bit! I love the fact that he is OK with me the way I am but why would he not want me to do something that I want to do? Why would he not encourage me to better myself? But, not him. He knows that I am an emotional eater and he is like my pusher! I am upset after a bad day at work, he offers to buy me a pizza. I have a fight with my friend and he wants to buy me ice cream and cake. Have I completely lost my mind? Now, loosing weight is not going to be easy, I know this but it is something that I want to do. I want to be comfortable in my own skin and do all of the things that I want to do that maybe I have not done because I am overweight. If he really cares for me, shouldn't he support anything that I want to do? Even if he is not crazy about it? I mean, I don't want him to shave his head but if he really wanted to do it, I would support him. I may pick on him but it would be supportive picking! I just can't believe my luck here. I had given up on having a boyfriend and I find one that turns out to be WEIRD!
Just the luck of this FAT CHICK!

and the adventures continue.......

2007-06-02T00:38:00.001-04:00

There are times in the life of this FAT CHICK that I want to just scream!! I mean scream at the top of my lungs for an extended period of time. Today was one of those days....
I went and weighed in for the first time at WW and, wouldn't you know it, I gained just under a pound. OK, I have not exactly been good but I haven't been bad either. THe last 2 nights were probably pretty bad, I ate at Chili's Wed night and Applebees last night. Now Applebee's actually has a WW menu and I did order off that but I also had Nachos It was one of those spur of the moment decisions and a stupid one, I might add. Oh Well, I am no quitter so this is a minor set back, little down for the day but I'll get over it.

Will it ever end? I mean REALLY!

2007-05-31T19:02:00.000-04:00

I was in the bathroom earlier at work, taking a much needed break from the trials and tribulations of OFFICE LIFE, and I was BLESSED to overhear the most aggravating conversation I have ever had the pleasure of hearing. Two young, skinny girls were primping in the mirror and talking about how FAT they were and how they needed to loose weight. And, of course, each was telling the other how they were not fat at all. Now, each girl was about the size of a cabbage patch kid and combined probably weighed less than I do. It took everything in me to keep from laughing out loud from the safety of my bathroom stall but I refrained and listened for the next 3 or 4 minutes to them talk about how they need to start working out and eating less. So, they want to go from eating 10 french fries to 6 french fries? from a 1/2 hamburger to 1/4 hamburger? from 1.5 alices of pizza to .5 slices of pieces? How can they eat any less? And if they exercise, they will simply cease to exist! That may not be such a bad idea but ....... anyway... Being the emotional eater that I am, I wanted to immediately run to the nearest Pizza Hut and order a large pan pizza and eat the whole damn thing all by myself! I didn't, THANK GOD but I did think about it.
Why must this FAT CHICK be forced to be surrounded by these little bitty women who complain about their size like they are Jaba the Hut? I would kill to have their problems! Don't misunderstand, I know that I have played a large role is my weight issues and I am working on my issues but that does not mean that I enjoy hearing The Twig Twins complaining about their 100 lb frames when I struggle with my weight and ALWAYS HAVE! Sometimes I feel like it is too much of a struggle and I should just give up but I AM NO QUITTER!! Besides, there are things that I want to do that I don't or won't because of being the FAT CHICK that I am.
I started Weight Watchers last week, it seems to be the best program out there and there is alot of support so........ So far so good but we will see tomorrow when I weigh in.